Rachel for the Win

It was back to work after a nice four and a half day weekend. As crazy as it sounds, my treat for waking up and making it into work today was a nice, big salad from Tossed. I’m pretty sure these people sprinkle their salads with crack because they are just that addictive. I tend to splurge at least once a week on these little devils (it definitely can get pricey) and I’m always excited when that days comes.

After a few duds, I finally came up with the perfect combination:

- Baby field greens
- Romaine hearts
- Cheddar cheese
- Egg whites
- Tortilla strips
- Oven-roasted turkey
- Honey Sesame dressing (mixed in lightly — this is key )

This was my Salad of Choice before trying to eat better. Little by little, I have been adding in healthier ingredients and taking away the unhealthy stuff. After stalking corporate using several different and very fictional email address, Tossed finally made their nutritional information available on their website. I’d like to think my persistence helped.

Back to my salad of sin.

What was the first item to go? My beloved tortilla strips. In its place? Broccoli. I really, really hate broccoli, but the honey sesame dressing disguises it nicely and brings it to an almost tolerable level.

Cheese became my next victim and was replaced by grape tomatoes. I love tomatoes. But cheese and I go way back. It was painful to say goodbye, but I knew it was for the best.

Next?

The dressing.

Let me tell you. The dressing makes this salad. It just does. It’s light, airy, and it tastes like fricken sesame seeds. YES, YES, YES. It is easily the best dressing I have ever had. Since giving it the boot, I’ve dabbled with a few of their lower calorie choices such as Fat Free Honey Dijon and Citrus Chipotle. The Honey Dijon is pretty decent, but I like a lighter, less intrusive flavor. I don’t want to eat dressing that can double as a sandwich spread. As for the Citrus Chipotle? I’m not entirely sure they remembered to put it on. It tasted like nothing and there was no trace of salad dressing at all.

It was a painful experience. Especially because of the broccoli.

I decided to order my salad with the honey sesame dressing today because I figured I had taken out two not-so-great items, why sacrifice the best part of my salad? After all, it makes broccoli possible and that alone is a miracle.

Rather than wasting half of my lunch standing in line, I order my salad from the comfort of my desk. That’s right! I order my salad online. This ability is especially useful when one of the many convention centers and/or myriad of conference rooms are booked. Wait time if ordering online: 0 minutes. I walk right up and collect my goodie bag (and rush to my desk like some football player going for the game-winning touchdown).

I usually eat lunch at noon, but I waited until 1pm due to a midday snack. YES, SALAD TIME. Except not. Because the website refused to process my order. Or did it? I tried again. FULL-ON REFUSAL. My heart died. And quickly regained strength at the thought of being charged for an invisi-salad. I made my way downstairs to make sure I wasn’t paying for something I wasn’t going to receive. Sure enough, all was well in the Land of Yum.

But now what?

Do I try to order my complicated salad in a line thirty people deep? I would surely goof up and then what (note the confidence issues)?

My office building sits above a mall with a fully stocked food court. Pizza, Mexican, Indian, CHOWDER — you name it! Not to mention the plethora of bars so close I can sneeze on ‘em.

Need. Food. Now.

I ordered their Turkey & Avocado Sandwich on multi-grain. Unfortunately, I totally forgot to ask for dressing on the side, so although the sandwich would be OK to eat while staying within my allotment, the dressing wasn’t worth the extra 80 calories.

UGH.

I ate it anyway.

But I didn’t eat the chips.

Success!

After lunch, I was down to 390 calories for dinner. I knew this would be totally doable, but a little difficult after eating myself into a flat-line over the weekend. I also knew having to workout might make it even a bit more difficult after not working out for a few days. Last time I cut my calories close, I ate like a pig that same night and literally slapped the blinders on the next day and let loose.

These are dangerous waters.

I knew that the only thing I could possible eat and feel satisfied were potstickers from Trader Joe’s. This is what happens when you’ve been eating leftovers for a few days instead of going food shopping like a semi-normal adult.

I can have seven and feel ’satisfied’ for under 250 calories. Not ideal, but it’ll work in a pinch. Maeg was nice enough to make them for me as I was en route home. They were piping hot and waiting for me the minute I got home. We didn’t even have veggies — canned or frozen. Shock horror.

I had the potstickers and attended to some freelance which served as a nice distraction. I hit the elip for thirty minutes not long after. About forty-five minutes after working out, I scoured the cabinets for things I could eat. Tomato soup? Valid, but will I feel full? Doubtful. Wedding soup? Will I have the same problem? Most likely.

The best option was chicken in a can. Oh yes. Good ‘ole Costco to the rescue! I carefully measured out my four ounces and mixed it with some hot sauce I found hiding behind the gargantuan jar of pickles. Mmm! A tortilla-less (rice-less, cheese-less, guac-less) burrito. It did the trick. I feel confident(ish) about making it through the night.

I know that I will probably not be able to make the ‘right’ choices day in and day out, but if I can make them 80% or even 70% of the time, I will benefit greatly. And it will become easier (I hope!).

Today was a win.

From Wagon to Wagonless

I haven’t exercised since December 18th.

I haven’t been counting my calories since December 23rd.

I managed to lose one pound, but I am taking that with a grain of salt. Perhaps everything I’ve eaten for the past five days hasn’t caught up to me yet. I’m not too worried about it, but I am definately done eating whatever I want, whenever I want for a long time (if not forever).

I don’t feel bad about ‘falling off the wagon’ during the holiday season, but I defintely do feel nauseous! For the last few days, I’ve adopted that whole, ‘eat everything since this will be the last time’ mentality. What I noticed the most was that I have been (more or less) forcing myself to eat things that I no longer feel appealing. Example? Cheese.

My love affair with cheese goes way, way, way back. I love to put cheese on anything and everything. I could eat a whole block of cheese in ten minutes flat. My favorite snack? Cheese and crackers. Needless to say, Cheese is my homeboy.

When I arrived at my parent’s house on Wednesday, my mother handed me a piece of cheese. I ate it. And it was gross. It was slimy and thick and it coated my insides. I was not a fan.

Even though I’ve been eating like crap, I have noticed that I am looking at food in a new light. Rather than looking at it as an emotional tool, I am looking at it as fuel. I am looking at it as something that I need to survive rather than a luxury or something to ‘do’. Junk food and processed foods are marketing gimmicks. Hostess does not give a shit that I cannot fit into a standard-sized chair!

Well, I do. And I am excited to get back on track tomorrow.

My First Spinout

I didn’t do so well this weekend. I’m blaming the snow (all fourteen inches of it) that fell from Friday evening until Sunday night. I didn’t workout because I figured I could substitute shoveling.

Why didn’t I workout after I was literally so adamant about doing it every single day? It was so easy on Friday to just… not do it. I didn’t get home until 11:30pm on Thursday and STILL managed to do some cardio before bed (probably not a great idea, but it was an attempt to save my soul).

I ate so well during the week and 90% of Saturday, but made some bad choices while doing some last minute Xmas shopping. A quick meal at Panera put me sixty calories from my daily limit — at 2pm!! I was so frustrated and hungry by the time nightfall came that I ate.

And ate.

And ate.

I still ate much better than I normally would, but it was a let down. I was let down by my set back on Saturday, so I ate like shit yesterday — the bulk of it coming from four slices of cheese pizza from the Mom ‘N Pop pizza place a few strides from my front door. Was this an attempt at making myself feel better?

What happened to the cardio?

I spent the weekend wondering if I should enter my mistakes into FitDay and decided against it.

No one will know…

Oh, really? I am pretty sure they will. After all, ‘body by pizza’ isn’t just a snazzy handle, it’s the truth. To write about it or to let it ’slide’? Can’t I just tuck this tiny set back somewhere out of the way?

If I want to change these bad habits and to change the way I do things, then I need to be honest with myself. I entered most of the food I ate this weekend into FitDay. When I arrive home after work, I will finish entering in the nutritional information for those things I do not have numbers for.

While I feel like I could have done so, so, so much better, I know I could have done so, so, so much worse. I’m back on the weekday schedule. Let’s see if I can do better before this Christmas thing hits…

Bang!

I’m at work eating chips right now — salt and vinegar to be precise. It’s a long way from the apple wedges I was eating this morning. I feel like I shouldn’t be eating these things for a few reasons:

1. I love them (shouldn’t I only be eating things I hate like fruits and veggies?)!
2. They’re high in calories and high in fat.
3. CARBS! ‘Standard potato chips’ = 50 on the glycemic load index (which holds no meaning for me yet)

On the other hand, I feel like it’s OK to eat them for a few reasons:

1. I love them!
2. They’re high in calories and high in fat, but I’m still under my daily caloric allowance.
3. I’m a supposed ‘balanced oxidizer’. I’m sure if I were able to do simple math, I can prove that these fall within my ’spectrum’ (note: this is called ‘lying to yourself’).

I’m torn (not really, since I’ve just finished the bag). But still. Here’s the part that confuses me: I have more than enough calories left to cover this expenditure, but I’m worried the high carb count will somehow become the bull in my china shop….

Sherlockian

Interestingly enough, the green apple slices I am consuming at this very moment are much more sour than Sour Patch Kids (one of my top three favorite sugar-coma inducing treats). Apples are a hard food for me to eat because of their consistency, but perhaps these puppies will grow on me (mushrooms have!).

I don’t know what the problem is lately, but for the past few days, I feel sick after eating. This happens at every meal and usually passes after a few minutes. I had to literally choke down my turkey, Swiss, and spinach wrap yesterday at lunch. It took me twice the amount of time than it usually does to eat something of that size and weight. It might be that I have a consistency problem with ‘wraps’ (good thing I brought one for lunch again today!), but it’s not just confined to my ‘problem foods’.

I otherwise feel fine. I haven’t really felt hungry between meals (except for today) and haven’t been snacking too much in general. I’ve been drinking at least eighty-four ounces of water each day (four sixteen ounce cups at work and at least two twenty ounce glass at home with dinner and after cardio). I am thinking it may be the change in diet in general.

Must investigate.

To Hell With You!

Tired. Oh, so tired. Today marks the fifth weekday in which I set my alarm thirty minutes earlier than normal with the intention of getting in a quick cardio workout before heading off to work.

Out of these five week days, today was the only day I actually got up. And the only reason I got up was because after I reset my alarm, I heard rain/sleet slapping against my bedroom window. Annoyance immediately set in. Rain = another wet walk to the bus stop for me.

I couldn’t go back to sleep.

Read more »

Crimeny

There is an overwhelming feeling of unhappiness resonating from within today. I am not sure what it is exactly, but I am almost positive it has something to do with having exercised for nearly a month straight without seeing much of a return on this ‘physical investment’. OK, that’s a lie. My coat does feel a little looser, but the imagination can be a powerful thing. The scale hasn’t moved and my pants aren’t falling off. What gives?

I would love nothing more than to twist my head off and chuck it across the room.

Alas, I cannot.

The Numbers Have Been Crunched

Finally, after a few weeks of not being able to pin point how many calories I should be consuming/burning to lose two pounds a week, I have answers. Rather than dividing my AMR up into seven days, I’m going to take Jillian Michael’s advice and vary my daily intake while staying within my range.

My week will be broken down as follows:

Monday - 1400 calories
Tuesday – 1500 calories
Wednesday - 1400 calories
Thursday – 1500 calories
Friday – 1700 calories
Saturday – 1800 calories
Sunday – 1600 calories

Let’s see how well this goes.

Help From a Fitness Guru

It bothers me to no end that I keep finding conflicting information when it comes to trying to find out what my BMR is and how many calories I should be consuming on a daily basis in order to lose weight. It feels like everyone has an agenda, an opinion, or some wild hair up their ass. I just want to know how much I need to eat so that my physical efforts aren’t for naught!

In my quest to find answers, I purchased Jillian Michaels ‘ book, Winning By Losing. Even though I haven’t watched the Biggest Loser since season one, and even though I know that these people are losing insane amounts of weight because they are isolated on some Fat Ranch, I for some reason, feel like I can look to Jillian for answers. I mean, have you seen this girl’s arms?

My newest purchase was waiting for me when I got home from work last night. I skipped the ’self section’ (love yourself, harness your chi, etc, etc, etc) and went right to the science portion where I encountered answers about my BMR using this handy equation:

Female:
655 + (4.3 x weight in lbs) + (4.7 x height in inches) – (4.7 x ages in years) = 1,968.4 calories

FINALLY. An answer I feel like I can trust!

But it didn’t stop there. Next came figuring in my ‘daily activity level’ score using five options:

Sedentary Physical Activity Level (desk job, other work that entails sitting down for most of the day). If yes, your score is 1.1

Light Physical Activity Level (on feet/walking around for 1/2 the day or more, e.g. stay at home mothers, salespeople, doctors). If yes, your score is 1.2

Moderate Physical Activity Level (on the move all day with a few limited periods of being sedentary, e.g. gardeners, carpenters, mail carriers). If yes, your score is 1.3.

High Physical Activity Level (constantly on the move with significant amounts of physical labor, e.g. construction worker, farm workers, movers). If yes, your score is 1.4

I scored a 1.1.

In addition to my BMR and ‘daily activity level’, I lastly had to figure in my exercise expenditure using a chart on the next page. Unfortunately, her chart doesn’t include an elliptical workout (not surprising, no one seems to count this as a legitimate exercise). Thinking back to the Glamour Fitness calculator I found a few weeks ago, I’m going to say I burn 400 calories using that seemingly fake piece of equipment.

Let’s do the math:

BMR (1,968) x Daily Activity Level (1.1) + Exercise Expenditure (400) = 2,564

After all this number crunching, my official AMR (active metabolic rate) is 2,564 calories! This number differs greatly from the number FitDay gave me by a whopping 545 calories (sadness in a hand basket). Those shameless bastards.

I know by now that a pound of fat is equal to 3,500 calories (universally speaking). Using my AMR, I can now calculate with great precision how many calories I need to consume in order to create a deficit large enough to lose weight.

2,564 calories (daily AMR) x 7 days = 17,948 calories per week.

My goal is to lose two pounds a week, thus, I will need to create a 7,000 calorie deficit per week.

17,948 calories (weekly AMR) – 7,000 calories (equivalent to 2 lbs) = 10,948 calories per week.

If I were to divide my weekly allowance by seven, my daily caloric allowance would be 1,564 calories per day. However, Jillian’s book gives great advice how you can lose the weight while minimizing your chances of plateauing. She suggests tackling the deficit on a weekly basis rather than a daily basis so that you may vary your caloric intake day to day. Doing this will keep your metabolism from adapting to a fixed reduction. Yay!

I totally suggest picking up this book if you have a few bucks to spare this holiday season. In addition to learning about your AMR and BMR, Jillian explores something called Metabolic Typing. I’ve never heard of this until last night. After a answering a short questionnaire, I learned that I am a balanced oxidizer.

Oxidizer, oxidizer, I’m a balanced oxidizer, baby.

—-

Male BMR equation:

66 + (6.3 x body weight in lbs) + (12.9 x height in inches) – (6.8 x age in years)

Hold the Syrup

I took one of those handy dandy daily mutli-vitamins about ten minutes ago. Five minutes later, I threw it up. Ew. That is the last time I take a vitamin on an empty stomach. I’m such a rookie.

Sometimes Sick Beats Just Aren’t Enough

THIRTY MINUTES!!

I just got done with my Friday workout and YES — I did thirty minutes without stopping. Move over nugget-sized victory, chocolate-bar sized victory is here to stay! I won’t lie, I’ve had some help these past few days when it came time to tackle the elliptical. After Saturday’s success story, Sunday’s session was tough. Much tougher than normal. Why? Simply put: doing well on Saturday fucked me over on Sunday.

UGH! I knew it was time to be creative.

I needed a distraction.

When I got home from work on Sunday, I took the neighbor’s Newsweek magazine that had been sitting in the foyer for three weeks and decided to read it while busting ass. It worked, until I could no longer see the teeny, tiny print due to sweat pouring into my eyes and the fact that I somehow become nearsighted overnight the minute I turned twenty-five (which was in November).

I read half of one article, chucked the magazine across the room, and finished my workout.

I decided to print out some entries from a weight loss blog last night before hitting the ellip. What better to keep me going while keeping my interest than a topic directly affecting me in the moment? I printed out enough to fit on six pieces of paper (which left me with zero paper to my name) and went at it. I covered the timer with my reading materials and read the six pages a over and over and over again until I finally caved in and looked at the clock: seventeen minutes had passed. I was sweating, but interestingly enough, I wasn’t overly out of breath. Did reading to myself help my breathing? The world may never know.

I covered the clock back up and read through the pages a few more times.  My A.D.D kicked into overdrive after reading the same crap seven or eight times, but I made it to twenty-five minutes without struggling too much. Fresh reading material is key!

When I got to work this morning, I decided to purchase an eBook that can be used to tide me over for a while. It’s working (so far!). I’ve ht the thirty minute mark and I am loving it! After my glass of ‘cool down water’, I returned to my lair for a thirty minutes of strength/weight training.

Keep On Keeping On

It’s been just over three weeks since the beginning of my journey (although my first blog post was a week ago from today). I’m happy to report that I am still going strong. Even though I’ve had to work my way up to a duration that might actually produce results rather than setting myself up for failure right out of the gate, I consider my journey thus far to be a nugget-sized victory.

Since November 17th, I’ve gone from a five minute cardio workout to eight minutes to twelve minutes to thirty minutes (broken down into three ten-minute sessions with ten minutes of rest in-between) and back down to twenty-five minutes (this time, without stopping).

I’ve reached my twenty-five minute goal everyday for the past six days. I even managed to complete thirty minutes without so much as a hiccup (just the occasional plea to God to have mercy on my soul) on Saturday for the first and only time thus far. I’m going to attribute this feat to having talked to my mother just before jumping on the machine. She should call more often!

In addition to daily activity, I’ve been keeping a food journal over at www.FitDay.com. It’s a free tool that allows you to enter your food, moods, activity, and weight loss goals. In my previous entry, I used Discovery Health’s BMR calculator to figure out my Basal Metabolic Rate (1,974). For some reason, Fit Day’s BMR is much higher, citing I burn 2,709 calories per day. It recommends I employ a daily caloric restriction of 902 calories, leaving me with 1,900 calories to my name.

Seems like a lot — which is why I am inclined to test it out for a few weeks to see where it takes me before adjusting to a lower number. Yum! Even with a 1,900 allowance, I’ve been averaging 1,600 per day. Why? I’m not exactly sure, but I have a feeling it has to do with knowing that I won’t starve myself to death just to get through the day. I know I can eat that small bag of Cape Cod Chips that came with my Turkey Avocado sandwich from Tossed without having a panic attack.

We’ll see.

I Can Have My Cake and Eat It, Too

How many calories do I need to burn in order to lose one pound?

The answer: 3,500 calories. Painful, but helpful.

With a number like this looming over my head like Satan in an air balloon, I need to mull over my options:

Option 1: Create a calorie deficit by limiting intake (eating)
Option 2: Split the calorie deficit between intake (eating) and output (exercising)
Option 3: Create a calorie deficit by increasing output (excising)

Option number one is definitely not an option. Deprivation leads to towel-throwing and hair-pulling. I’ve tried and tried and tried to change my eating habits at the snap of a finger, but let’s be real. Years of making poor choices is a feat that I cannot conquer overnight without feeling like a zombie and/or crying myself to sleep. Food and I go way back. We’re BFFs. Plus, the whole ’starvation’ thing will only lead to a downshift in metabolism which will make my goal of losing weight that much harder.

Option number two is a little more reasonable. A little less food, a little more exercise = a happy medium. This is something I should be able to handle without killing myself. I eat one piece of pizza instead of seven and I actually walk up the stairs instead of taking the escalator. What’s the big deal?

Option number three is also a looker, however, I’m a rookie. I can barely make the trek around the grocery store without becoming winded — there’s no way in hell I’ll be able to find an exercise that will allow me to eat whatever the hell I want while getting my lazy on AND burn enough calories to create a nice deficit.

Option two wins by default!

Unfortunately, there are not enough hours in the day to sit and/or sleep away the pounds. Because of that, my activity of choice has to do with convenience: the elliptical (which currently resides two rooms over). Thirty minutes on this bad boy will burn 410 calories (figuring in my current weight and height) according to one of the two billion calories burned calculators available online. I’m not sure how accurate these puppies are, but it’s a start.

Now, if I could somehow gain the attention span to track my caloric intake, I would be able to figure out if I am consuming too little (..that’s funny!), too many, or just the right amount.

And so my journey begins…

Beyond the Blubber

[ This post was written in November of 2009 prior to the start of my journey. Update to come! ]

In my twenty-five years on earth, I have been severely overweight for the last seven of them. Over the years, I have limited myself in ways beyond comprehension. My lack of self confidence is evident in my every day life — a life where the simplest things often become giant obstacles. I have been lucky enough to cultivate friendships and relationships throughout my journey thus far, but I am ready to explore life as a fit individual. I want to take advantage of all that life offers instead of tip-toeing around the standard-sized chairs of the world.

I started my weight-loss journey at the beginning of December 2008 weighing a staggering 271 pounds, leaving zero traces of that high school ice hockey and softball athlete I used to be. Rather than gaining fifteen pounds during my freshman year in college, I gained over fifty.

My initial goal is to lose 81lbs by November 3, 2009 (my 26th birthday). My ultimate goal weight is 150lbs — a total loss of 121lbs. Finding the motivation to continually count calories and exercise won’t be easy, but the reward will be endless.

As for who I am beyond the fat: I’m a graphic and web designer living just outside of Boston with my lovely wife. My interests include crayola crayons, Photoshop, constructing blanket tents, camping, vodka, and wearing sandals.