Wii Fit, Jackasses, & Sleep

Never again will I use the elliptical @ 10pm.

Never again (on a weekday!)

I decided to jump on that stupid thing for twenty minutes after I posted my ‘anthem’ entry (who knew just talking about a song could get the gears rollin’?). Why did I jump on so late? Failure to get my twenty-minutes in due to a complete Wii Fit ass-whooping.

Side note: To all those people on Amazon bitching about Jillian Michael’s ‘Fitness Ultimatum’: shut the eff up.

If the avatar isn’t responding to your movements, it’s because you didn’t read the directions and you’re not doing it right. YES! That’s right. YOU ARE THE PROBLEM — not the game!

There’s a shocker.

Granted, the graphics could use some help, but what did you expect from a Jillian Michael’s exercise game? Did you expect to see Hello Kitty and Keroppi bopping around the screen in their pretty pastel outfits congratulating you for doing absolutely nothing? C’mon. Just because this game doesn’t involve the use of your ‘Mii’ doesn’t mean it blows.

I wouldn’t say that the ‘fitness coach’ from the ‘Wii Fit’ game is impressive graphic-wise either. If anyone is gong to have a problem with the way things look, it’s going to be me. It’s my JOB to care about graphics. On the other hand, I am not an effing lunatic like most of these people complaining about this game. It’s easier to bitch about something rather than putting forth the effort to correct your mistakes (or your attention span for that matter).

The people bitching about this game are the type of people that expect to be showered with lollipops and puppy dogs for doing a freaking squat. It’s mind boggling.

This game repeatedly kicks my ass on a daily basis because I am doing it right. I did over 150 squats within two and a half minutes last night. My avatar moved flawlessly. It leaped from log to log, it jumped from tire to tire, and it threw grenades like a champ.

This ‘shitty’ game basically paralyzed me from the waist down! I tried and tried and tried to complete my usual twenty-minutes on the elliptical after working out to this video game, but my legs were instant Jell-o. I gave up five minutes into it and never looked back. I was OK with not pushing through the elliptical because I didn’t want to widdle my legs down to stumps.

The pain in my quads subsided around 10pm, so I took it upon myself to complete my workout for the evening. Unfortunately, this left me laying wide awake in bed from 11:40pm until 2am.

2am!!!

Needless to say, toothpicks kept my eyelids open from 8a-5p…

I had freelance tonight, but I talked myself out of doing it before noon broke…

And I had an absolutely painful experience on the elliptical a short while ago.

So. Much. Pain. So. Little. Energy.

I resorted to pounding on the screen and making deals with The Big Guy for 23:45 minutes of my 30:00 session. UGH. IT SUCKED. But it’s over and I feel good and blah, blah, blah.. yadda, yadda, yadda.

Sleep, meet me in the bedroom in an hour.