The 100-pound Mistake

Oh man. I love Inspire, I really do. A post entitled ‘No More Lies’ prompted me to dig out my license, take a photo of it with my iPhone, and publish it for the world to see. It’s pretty poor quality, but hilarious (embarrassing!) nonetheless:

This photo was taken four or five years ago when I returned to MA from living in WA for a few years. I gained over 60lbs in the first year I lived there (ouch!). I’m happy to say I am just 14lbs shy of my ‘pre-WA’ weight (total of 46lbs gone — 39lbs since this journey started in Dec/Jan).

I often talk about how many calories I have eaten or how many minutes I’ve spent exercising, but I never talk about the ‘inside’ stuff. I never talk about how I felt when I was (literally) enormous or how I <i>feel</i> as I make my way toward a happier, healthier Me. I’d like to think it’s because I refuse to beat myself up over a 100-pound mistake, but it miiight have something to do with my ability to repress anything and everything into oblivion.

One day!

Checkin’ In

My last post was exactly seven days ago.  Reason:  I’ve been knee-deep in a sea of tissues, snot, aches and pains, and fatigue since Tuesday. Rarrrr. That’s the last time I publicly ask the Powers That Be to make me sick in the name of science! I honestly cannot remember the last time I felt so damn lousy.

I took Wednesday and Thursday off from work (but wasted my downtime freelancing which turned out to be an unproductive nightmare) and took it easy in the exercise department. I worked out for a total of twenty minutes on Tuesday and made the mistake of going to aerobics class on Thursday. My energy level wasn’t there, but I kept up with the class for the most part (okay… I only did half of the required ‘up-downs’, but I can barely do those on a good day).

I’ve had a few ‘OMG I NEED TO WORK OUT OR I’M GONNA DIE’ moments over the course of the last week (especially today since I am feeling marginally better), but a small, sick-related vacation won’t kill me. I’m looking forward to hitting the elliptical tomorrow. Strength training shall have to wait since I pulled a muscle in my arm on Thursday and totally shanked it again last night while I was dicking around with my hand-weights (…at midnight).  Dumblesarus!

I stayed on track food-wise and came in at approximately 1,452 calories under my weekly goal despite downing a burrito from Anna’s on Thursday and having pizza both Friday and Saturday (left overs). I talked myself out of emo-eating a few times once I realized that such an act  = pointless when sick (I’m a ‘taste heals all wounds’ kinda gal it seems), so that helped.

In the end, I managed to lose two pounds by the time Sunday rolled around which is great, but in all honesty, I’m looking forward to kicking this cold to the curb completely. Until then, I’m keeping a lid on my enthusiasm.

ONWARD!

Food Mania

Oh, Monday… how I loathe you. Not only is today the start of a new work week, but I’m 90% sure I am getting sick! I totally regret testing The Powers That Be in my previous entry (you know, the one where I basically begged the Universe to bless me with an infection). With the freelance and the cardio class and the bowling and the possibility of visiting family in California next month, I don’t need to be sick right now.

On top of the aforementioned impending doom, I have a crotch-doc appointment today at 1:30pm which I am not looking forward to, I have bowling tonight which I could take or leave due to the freelance, and I kind of had a shitty day yesterday in the mental health department.

Yesterday: All was well until I decided to hang with my friend Finn (Lindsay, but I’ve been calling her Finn since 9th grade — long story). I showed up at her place at 1:30pm and we decided to go for a walk without a destination in mind. We walked and walked and walked and decided to indulge in some Tapas for lunch on Newbury Street — 2.8 miles from her abode.

I ordered the shrimp in garlic sauce (read: approximately fifteen baby shimp floating in a buttery/oily/garlicky concoction about 2 inches deep) and baked mushroom-stuffed eggplant (read: mushrooms & eggplant covered by an inch of thick cheese drowning in some sort of oil). Arghhh.

Although tapas are small, appetizer-sized portions, I could not help but cringe every time I devoured one of those baby shrimp or took a bite of cheese-smothered eggplant. Don’t get me wrong, it was delicious and wonderful and filling as all hell, but I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of caloric damage I was inflicting. I also indulged in three slices of bread because they were thick and lovely and tasted of cornmeal and was served with hummus instead of butter! And let’s not forget about those two glasses of Sangria…

When it was all said and done, I was full and tipsy and ready to burn some of those damn calories.  We took a different, shorter route (2.5 miles) and made good time even though I was wobbly (from the alcohol), sore, and ready for a nap. However, instead of napping, I demanded that we walk up Summit Ave (a rather steep 258 ft hill boasting splendid views of Cambridge and the Charles) after a quick potty break.

We made it to the top, played on the swings for a while, and marched awkwardly down toward her apartment in the blistering cold (Spring, where are you?).

You’d think the food consumption and the exercise would have stopped there, but no, it didn’t. Before I left, we shared a bowl of Pho and some Massaman Curry next door.

I arrived home shortly after partaking in what seemed like my tenth meal of garbage for the day. Although I had walked a total of 5.1 miles, I felt unaccomplished, bloated, and pissed the eff off at the amount of food I was unable to track. To combat this mindset, I jumped on the elliptical for 25 minutes (2.6 miles) and attempted to freelance afterward. Yeah, the freelance wasn’t happening. I was too tired and most definitely stuck in the wrong frame of mind. Cue floodgates.

I started to feel hungry, but didn’t want to eat. Ah, well. Fruit won’t kill me, right? Do do do. After the fruit came a handful of tortilla chips smothered in low-fat organic shredded cheese (yes, it actually melts!) and hot sauce. Next, I ate one Girl Scout cookie (which tasted like cardboard) and one mini pecan tart (followed by one more for good measure).

WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why did I do something I knew would make me feel like crap? C’mon, people. It’s not like this is day one. I am three months into this and still doing stupid shit. Mother eff. I don’t like the idea of spinning out of control because I wasn’t able to track my calories for two fricken’ meals after walking/ellipting a total of 7.9 miles that same day. Why was it such a big deal?

Must fix.

Food Shopping & Cookie Monsters

It took The Girl and I three hours to complete our food shopping yesterday. Insanity! We stopped at Trader Joe’s and did our ‘real’ food shopping, picking up all of the essentials and more for just over $100. Not too shabby.

On our way home, we stopped at Whole Foods to grab some natural hand soap (which was oh-my-god expensive), natural body soap, toothpaste, fruit, soy yogurt (which was a no-go due to the high calorie count), natural deodorant, one yellow onion, and milk (for The Girl). We walked out with approximately fifteen items (four being yogurt) and spent a staggering $70.00!! Let the crapping of the pants ensue! Ah, well. My health is worth it (…I think).

We rushed back home, emptied the car, emptied the bags, and dashed back out to Stop and Shop for some turkey pepperoni, light/whole grain english muffins, water, soda (for The Girl), hot dog buns, and Ziplock containers. $50.00 later and we were finally finished.

Normally, we spend about $100 a week at Trader Joe’s and about $25 at Stop and Shop, but we never made it to the market last week. It evens out and I’m OK with that (…I think).

I don’t talk much about The Girl directly, but her eating habits are killing me lately!! Her diet consists of little more than cookies, cupcakes, mac and cheese, cereal with whole milk, and string cheese, yet, she is thin and otherwise in good health. She literally ate cookies for breakfast, lunch, and dinner on Thursday. BITCH!
It wasn’t until I was putting away the groceries yesterday when I noticed a huge difference in our eating habits.

Can you spot my ‘junk pile’?!

Baked/Dried Sugar Snap Peas, Almond Milk, 100-Calorie Dark Chocolate Bars, and Dried Hibiscus Flowers.

Girl Scout Cookies (3 of 4 boxes), Pecan Tarts, Toblerone, Chocolate & Regular Milk (whole!), Ginger Ale (x12), Cheese Sticks, Chocolate Chip Cookies, and Chocolate Covered Peanut Butter-filled Pretzels

Bah! My life would be ‘easier’ if this crap wasn’t kicking it in our cupboards, but I encourage (and will continue to encourage) The Girl to make her own choices. After all, food is not her kryptonite, it’s mine. I don’t and will never hold her responsible for my obesity. That would be ridiculous.

Granted, she should probably be making healthier choices (aka eating more than seven different kinds of cookies throughout the day), but she’s a big girl. She can make her own decisions. Plus, I feel pretty damn good that I am able to resist sneaking a bite or two from her ‘junk pile’.

Her Cookie Monster tendencies are no match for me! Buahahaha.

In other news, I weighed myself yesterday and was amazed to discover I had lost 2lbs. YES!  Unfortunately, my loss was fleeting…

I am up 1.5 pounds since yesterday morning for a total weekly loss of .5lbs. I am not entirely surprised to see a higher number pop-up since my sodium intake was laughable yesterday. It might not be such a great idea that my official weigh-in day falls after my ‘treat day’ (1700 cals as opposed to 1500 cals), but perhaps doing so will keep me a little more honest. Next week will be better!

Mystery Unsolved

I need to get this off my chest. I’ve been trying to keep it in, but I am afraid I’ll blow a gasket if I don’t let off some steam. Here it is:

What is up with people getting sick (cold/flu) and gaining weight? I have read so many damn posts over at Inspire about people getting sick and gaining weight and finally feeling better enough to get  ‘back on track’.

Am I missing something? Honestly, am I? If you have a cold then you can’t taste a damn thing so eating is pointless. If you have the flu, your food is coming out either end. With that said, I feel like getting sick would almost help you lose weight! Granted, you cant exactly get up and bust out a few miles for exercise, but we all know that weight-loss takes more than exercise alone. A lot more.

At this point, I almost <i>want</i> to get sick so I can see for myself. On no she didn’t…

Didn’t See That Comin’

Oops. Apparently the email I sent to corporate the other day caused quite a stir over at Tossed. I hadn’t heard back from them via email and I hadn’t made it down there for a few days due to the whole ‘turkey debacle’. I decided it was time to end my boycott and go for it (mainly because I am still trying to off-set the effects of Sunday’s eclair!).

Instead of turkey, my plan was to go with the cayenne shrimp… until I realized it was an extra $3.00!! What the!? Instead, I opted for gross/soggy/paper-mâché-tasting tofu (chicken was 180+ calories, tuna was 200+ calories!). Mother eff.

Anyhow. As the guy behind the counter handed me my salad, he asked if I was having a ‘turkey problem’. I am sure the look on my face was absolutely priceless when I was finally able to wrap my head around the question.

Apparently, corporate got on his ass about the hazmat turkey and forced him to drum up receipts from the last two months. Turns out, they have been receiving the wrong turkey after all! That’s great for me (since he said they were going to try a different turkey), but this guy has been put through the ringer because of me and my big mouth! Not cool.

He told me that I should talk to him next time I have a question or a comment rather than going to corporate about it. Honestly, I really didn’t think anything would come of it. I also assumed that corporate handled the order fulfillment aspect, but I guess not! He was very nice about it and laughed while discussing it, but I couldn’t help but feel totally embarrassed!

How will I show my face around there again?!

In unrelated, but equally absurd news: The Girl’s cookie order has arrived. Why Lord, why!

Skin of My Teeth

Yesterday had ‘disaster’ written all over it. I stayed home from work in order to get some freelance done (oh, joy!). I won’t go into details, but a deadline is closing in for a rather important project and I’m getting worried that I might not be able to pull it off. On top of this project, I have another (smaller) project due tonight and I haven’t even started it. Stress overload! What happens when I am stressed? The creative juices cease to flow, I don’t trust myself and my abilities, and I eat. And eat. And eat. By noon, I binge-ate my way through 950 calories. I woke up at 9am!

After blowing through 950 calories in the blink of an eye, I wanted more. More, more, more. I was eying The Girl’s left over turkey, mayo, and cheese sammie on focaccia. If I ate it, it would be all over.

I moseyed on over to fridge, grabbed the sandwich, sprayed Clorox Cleanup on that effer, and threw it into the trash! Yes, I am psycho, but drastic times call for drastic measures. Throwing it away wasn’t enough. I had to mutilate it.

After all was said and done, I ended the day 9 calories over my 1,500 calorie goal. Not too shabby. As for the project? That’s another story.

The Mother-load

Sunday lunch with my parents was awesome. It has been too long since I’ve spent quality time with them. My mother makes a mean cow shoulder, let me tell you. The potatoes cut like butter, too. Keeping within my limits was almost too easy, and doing so made the whole meal taste 100% better. Granted, I didn’t need two slices of Italian bread but it was too delicious to pass up. My mother always finds a way to guido-ize every meal. It’s highly appreciated.

The craft fair was a bust, but I picked up a neat-o wind-chime made from a Grey Goose bottle for a friend of mine. Between the tree skirts and hand-sewn penguins, it was a miracle I found anything remotely interesting. Maybe next time.

I met up with my friend Chris before heading home. He decided it was time for another crazy walk around Boston + dinner. I obliged (esp. since dinner = sushi.). We plowed through our meal and decided it was time for dessert. The catch? We had to walk there.

35 minutes and 2.1 miles later, we were standing in Mike’s Pastry in the North End. Although Mike’s is best known for their canolis and lobster tails, I opted for the mother-load — A TEN OUNCE ECLAIR!

It. Was. Amazing. I gobbled up a good eight ounces of that puppy before I called it quits. Sure, I could have eaten half and saved the other half for tomorrow, but sometimes, you just need to go for it!

End result? A full belly, a squashed craving (should last me a few months… God willing), and an extra 664-ish calories that need to be worked of before the weekend rolls around. I do like a challenge. BRING IT.

Over by 1409 Calories for the Week

Shit. I drank a lot and danced on a pole tonight. Twice.

Update: Thank goodness for being young and spring-chickenesque! No hangover = great since I must venture into the land of boiled cow parts and craft fairs at noon.

Also? I’m down 3.5 lbs this week. Craziness! After that 1.5 lb loss, I decided to up my calories by 5% and hover around 4.5 hours of exercise for the week. It worked. I ate more, moved less, and lost more. Sounds pretty ridiculous, but I will take it!

Turkey Butt

Ahhh, crap. What is going on here?! One of my favorite parts of my once-a-week salad treat was the turkey, but now? It tastes like rubber that has been soaked in chlorine. I am not shitting you. I’ve had this salad three times in the past three weeks hoping I fell upon a ‘bad batch’, but I’m beginning to think otherwise.

I know, I know. ‘Tastes change when you start to eat healthier’, but this is ludicrous. I’m not biting into a Big Mac wondering where the hell the tastiness went. It’s cubed turkey in a salad for crying out loud. I want to say they’ve changed their turkey. In fact, I am going to email corporate asking if they have.

Stay tuned.