The 100-pound Mistake

Oh man. I love Inspire, I really do. A post entitled ‘No More Lies’ prompted me to dig out my license, take a photo of it with my iPhone, and publish it for the world to see. It’s pretty poor quality, but hilarious (embarrassing!) nonetheless:

This photo was taken four or five years ago when I returned to MA from living in WA for a few years. I gained over 60lbs in the first year I lived there (ouch!). I’m happy to say I am just 14lbs shy of my ‘pre-WA’ weight (total of 46lbs gone — 39lbs since this journey started in Dec/Jan).

I often talk about how many calories I have eaten or how many minutes I’ve spent exercising, but I never talk about the ‘inside’ stuff. I never talk about how I felt when I was (literally) enormous or how I <i>feel</i> as I make my way toward a happier, healthier Me. I’d like to think it’s because I refuse to beat myself up over a 100-pound mistake, but it miiight have something to do with my ability to repress anything and everything into oblivion.

One day!

Checkin’ In

My last post was exactly seven days ago.  Reason:  I’ve been knee-deep in a sea of tissues, snot, aches and pains, and fatigue since Tuesday. Rarrrr. That’s the last time I publicly ask the Powers That Be to make me sick in the name of science! I honestly cannot remember the last time I felt so damn lousy.

I took Wednesday and Thursday off from work (but wasted my downtime freelancing which turned out to be an unproductive nightmare) and took it easy in the exercise department. I worked out for a total of twenty minutes on Tuesday and made the mistake of going to aerobics class on Thursday. My energy level wasn’t there, but I kept up with the class for the most part (okay… I only did half of the required ‘up-downs’, but I can barely do those on a good day).

I’ve had a few ‘OMG I NEED TO WORK OUT OR I’M GONNA DIE’ moments over the course of the last week (especially today since I am feeling marginally better), but a small, sick-related vacation won’t kill me. I’m looking forward to hitting the elliptical tomorrow. Strength training shall have to wait since I pulled a muscle in my arm on Thursday and totally shanked it again last night while I was dicking around with my hand-weights (…at midnight).  Dumblesarus!

I stayed on track food-wise and came in at approximately 1,452 calories under my weekly goal despite downing a burrito from Anna’s on Thursday and having pizza both Friday and Saturday (left overs). I talked myself out of emo-eating a few times once I realized that such an act  = pointless when sick (I’m a ‘taste heals all wounds’ kinda gal it seems), so that helped.

In the end, I managed to lose two pounds by the time Sunday rolled around which is great, but in all honesty, I’m looking forward to kicking this cold to the curb completely. Until then, I’m keeping a lid on my enthusiasm.

ONWARD!

Food Mania

Oh, Monday… how I loathe you. Not only is today the start of a new work week, but I’m 90% sure I am getting sick! I totally regret testing The Powers That Be in my previous entry (you know, the one where I basically begged the Universe to bless me with an infection). With the freelance and the cardio class and the bowling and the possibility of visiting family in California next month, I don’t need to be sick right now.

On top of the aforementioned impending doom, I have a crotch-doc appointment today at 1:30pm which I am not looking forward to, I have bowling tonight which I could take or leave due to the freelance, and I kind of had a shitty day yesterday in the mental health department.

Yesterday: All was well until I decided to hang with my friend Finn (Lindsay, but I’ve been calling her Finn since 9th grade — long story). I showed up at her place at 1:30pm and we decided to go for a walk without a destination in mind. We walked and walked and walked and decided to indulge in some Tapas for lunch on Newbury Street — 2.8 miles from her abode.

I ordered the shrimp in garlic sauce (read: approximately fifteen baby shimp floating in a buttery/oily/garlicky concoction about 2 inches deep) and baked mushroom-stuffed eggplant (read: mushrooms & eggplant covered by an inch of thick cheese drowning in some sort of oil). Arghhh.

Although tapas are small, appetizer-sized portions, I could not help but cringe every time I devoured one of those baby shrimp or took a bite of cheese-smothered eggplant. Don’t get me wrong, it was delicious and wonderful and filling as all hell, but I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of caloric damage I was inflicting. I also indulged in three slices of bread because they were thick and lovely and tasted of cornmeal and was served with hummus instead of butter! And let’s not forget about those two glasses of Sangria…

When it was all said and done, I was full and tipsy and ready to burn some of those damn calories.  We took a different, shorter route (2.5 miles) and made good time even though I was wobbly (from the alcohol), sore, and ready for a nap. However, instead of napping, I demanded that we walk up Summit Ave (a rather steep 258 ft hill boasting splendid views of Cambridge and the Charles) after a quick potty break.

We made it to the top, played on the swings for a while, and marched awkwardly down toward her apartment in the blistering cold (Spring, where are you?).

You’d think the food consumption and the exercise would have stopped there, but no, it didn’t. Before I left, we shared a bowl of Pho and some Massaman Curry next door.

I arrived home shortly after partaking in what seemed like my tenth meal of garbage for the day. Although I had walked a total of 5.1 miles, I felt unaccomplished, bloated, and pissed the eff off at the amount of food I was unable to track. To combat this mindset, I jumped on the elliptical for 25 minutes (2.6 miles) and attempted to freelance afterward. Yeah, the freelance wasn’t happening. I was too tired and most definitely stuck in the wrong frame of mind. Cue floodgates.

I started to feel hungry, but didn’t want to eat. Ah, well. Fruit won’t kill me, right? Do do do. After the fruit came a handful of tortilla chips smothered in low-fat organic shredded cheese (yes, it actually melts!) and hot sauce. Next, I ate one Girl Scout cookie (which tasted like cardboard) and one mini pecan tart (followed by one more for good measure).

WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why did I do something I knew would make me feel like crap? C’mon, people. It’s not like this is day one. I am three months into this and still doing stupid shit. Mother eff. I don’t like the idea of spinning out of control because I wasn’t able to track my calories for two fricken’ meals after walking/ellipting a total of 7.9 miles that same day. Why was it such a big deal?

Must fix.

Food Shopping & Cookie Monsters

It took The Girl and I three hours to complete our food shopping yesterday. Insanity! We stopped at Trader Joe’s and did our ‘real’ food shopping, picking up all of the essentials and more for just over $100. Not too shabby.

On our way home, we stopped at Whole Foods to grab some natural hand soap (which was oh-my-god expensive), natural body soap, toothpaste, fruit, soy yogurt (which was a no-go due to the high calorie count), natural deodorant, one yellow onion, and milk (for The Girl). We walked out with approximately fifteen items (four being yogurt) and spent a staggering $70.00!! Let the crapping of the pants ensue! Ah, well. My health is worth it (…I think).

We rushed back home, emptied the car, emptied the bags, and dashed back out to Stop and Shop for some turkey pepperoni, light/whole grain english muffins, water, soda (for The Girl), hot dog buns, and Ziplock containers. $50.00 later and we were finally finished.

Normally, we spend about $100 a week at Trader Joe’s and about $25 at Stop and Shop, but we never made it to the market last week. It evens out and I’m OK with that (…I think).

I don’t talk much about The Girl directly, but her eating habits are killing me lately!! Her diet consists of little more than cookies, cupcakes, mac and cheese, cereal with whole milk, and string cheese, yet, she is thin and otherwise in good health. She literally ate cookies for breakfast, lunch, and dinner on Thursday. BITCH!
It wasn’t until I was putting away the groceries yesterday when I noticed a huge difference in our eating habits.

Can you spot my ‘junk pile’?!

Baked/Dried Sugar Snap Peas, Almond Milk, 100-Calorie Dark Chocolate Bars, and Dried Hibiscus Flowers.

Girl Scout Cookies (3 of 4 boxes), Pecan Tarts, Toblerone, Chocolate & Regular Milk (whole!), Ginger Ale (x12), Cheese Sticks, Chocolate Chip Cookies, and Chocolate Covered Peanut Butter-filled Pretzels

Bah! My life would be ‘easier’ if this crap wasn’t kicking it in our cupboards, but I encourage (and will continue to encourage) The Girl to make her own choices. After all, food is not her kryptonite, it’s mine. I don’t and will never hold her responsible for my obesity. That would be ridiculous.

Granted, she should probably be making healthier choices (aka eating more than seven different kinds of cookies throughout the day), but she’s a big girl. She can make her own decisions. Plus, I feel pretty damn good that I am able to resist sneaking a bite or two from her ‘junk pile’.

Her Cookie Monster tendencies are no match for me! Buahahaha.

In other news, I weighed myself yesterday and was amazed to discover I had lost 2lbs. YES!  Unfortunately, my loss was fleeting…

I am up 1.5 pounds since yesterday morning for a total weekly loss of .5lbs. I am not entirely surprised to see a higher number pop-up since my sodium intake was laughable yesterday. It might not be such a great idea that my official weigh-in day falls after my ‘treat day’ (1700 cals as opposed to 1500 cals), but perhaps doing so will keep me a little more honest. Next week will be better!

Mystery Unsolved

I need to get this off my chest. I’ve been trying to keep it in, but I am afraid I’ll blow a gasket if I don’t let off some steam. Here it is:

What is up with people getting sick (cold/flu) and gaining weight? I have read so many damn posts over at Inspire about people getting sick and gaining weight and finally feeling better enough to get  ‘back on track’.

Am I missing something? Honestly, am I? If you have a cold then you can’t taste a damn thing so eating is pointless. If you have the flu, your food is coming out either end. With that said, I feel like getting sick would almost help you lose weight! Granted, you cant exactly get up and bust out a few miles for exercise, but we all know that weight-loss takes more than exercise alone. A lot more.

At this point, I almost <i>want</i> to get sick so I can see for myself. On no she didn’t…

Didn’t See That Comin’

Oops. Apparently the email I sent to corporate the other day caused quite a stir over at Tossed. I hadn’t heard back from them via email and I hadn’t made it down there for a few days due to the whole ‘turkey debacle’. I decided it was time to end my boycott and go for it (mainly because I am still trying to off-set the effects of Sunday’s eclair!).

Instead of turkey, my plan was to go with the cayenne shrimp… until I realized it was an extra $3.00!! What the!? Instead, I opted for gross/soggy/paper-mâché-tasting tofu (chicken was 180+ calories, tuna was 200+ calories!). Mother eff.

Anyhow. As the guy behind the counter handed me my salad, he asked if I was having a ‘turkey problem’. I am sure the look on my face was absolutely priceless when I was finally able to wrap my head around the question.

Apparently, corporate got on his ass about the hazmat turkey and forced him to drum up receipts from the last two months. Turns out, they have been receiving the wrong turkey after all! That’s great for me (since he said they were going to try a different turkey), but this guy has been put through the ringer because of me and my big mouth! Not cool.

He told me that I should talk to him next time I have a question or a comment rather than going to corporate about it. Honestly, I really didn’t think anything would come of it. I also assumed that corporate handled the order fulfillment aspect, but I guess not! He was very nice about it and laughed while discussing it, but I couldn’t help but feel totally embarrassed!

How will I show my face around there again?!

In unrelated, but equally absurd news: The Girl’s cookie order has arrived. Why Lord, why!

Skin of My Teeth

Yesterday had ‘disaster’ written all over it. I stayed home from work in order to get some freelance done (oh, joy!). I won’t go into details, but a deadline is closing in for a rather important project and I’m getting worried that I might not be able to pull it off. On top of this project, I have another (smaller) project due tonight and I haven’t even started it. Stress overload! What happens when I am stressed? The creative juices cease to flow, I don’t trust myself and my abilities, and I eat. And eat. And eat. By noon, I binge-ate my way through 950 calories. I woke up at 9am!

After blowing through 950 calories in the blink of an eye, I wanted more. More, more, more. I was eying The Girl’s left over turkey, mayo, and cheese sammie on focaccia. If I ate it, it would be all over.

I moseyed on over to fridge, grabbed the sandwich, sprayed Clorox Cleanup on that effer, and threw it into the trash! Yes, I am psycho, but drastic times call for drastic measures. Throwing it away wasn’t enough. I had to mutilate it.

After all was said and done, I ended the day 9 calories over my 1,500 calorie goal. Not too shabby. As for the project? That’s another story.

The Mother-load

Sunday lunch with my parents was awesome. It has been too long since I’ve spent quality time with them. My mother makes a mean cow shoulder, let me tell you. The potatoes cut like butter, too. Keeping within my limits was almost too easy, and doing so made the whole meal taste 100% better. Granted, I didn’t need two slices of Italian bread but it was too delicious to pass up. My mother always finds a way to guido-ize every meal. It’s highly appreciated.

The craft fair was a bust, but I picked up a neat-o wind-chime made from a Grey Goose bottle for a friend of mine. Between the tree skirts and hand-sewn penguins, it was a miracle I found anything remotely interesting. Maybe next time.

I met up with my friend Chris before heading home. He decided it was time for another crazy walk around Boston + dinner. I obliged (esp. since dinner = sushi.). We plowed through our meal and decided it was time for dessert. The catch? We had to walk there.

35 minutes and 2.1 miles later, we were standing in Mike’s Pastry in the North End. Although Mike’s is best known for their canolis and lobster tails, I opted for the mother-load — A TEN OUNCE ECLAIR!

It. Was. Amazing. I gobbled up a good eight ounces of that puppy before I called it quits. Sure, I could have eaten half and saved the other half for tomorrow, but sometimes, you just need to go for it!

End result? A full belly, a squashed craving (should last me a few months… God willing), and an extra 664-ish calories that need to be worked of before the weekend rolls around. I do like a challenge. BRING IT.

Over by 1409 Calories for the Week

Shit. I drank a lot and danced on a pole tonight. Twice.

Update: Thank goodness for being young and spring-chickenesque! No hangover = great since I must venture into the land of boiled cow parts and craft fairs at noon.

Also? I’m down 3.5 lbs this week. Craziness! After that 1.5 lb loss, I decided to up my calories by 5% and hover around 4.5 hours of exercise for the week. It worked. I ate more, moved less, and lost more. Sounds pretty ridiculous, but I will take it!

Turkey Butt

Ahhh, crap. What is going on here?! One of my favorite parts of my once-a-week salad treat was the turkey, but now? It tastes like rubber that has been soaked in chlorine. I am not shitting you. I’ve had this salad three times in the past three weeks hoping I fell upon a ‘bad batch’, but I’m beginning to think otherwise.

I know, I know. ‘Tastes change when you start to eat healthier’, but this is ludicrous. I’m not biting into a Big Mac wondering where the hell the tastiness went. It’s cubed turkey in a salad for crying out loud. I want to say they’ve changed their turkey. In fact, I am going to email corporate asking if they have.

Stay tuned.

Bite Me

Compared to yesterday’s horrific episode of caffeine withdrawal, I’m feeling much better today. Granted, the nausea has been insane and my appetite is minuscule, but I’m hanging in there. I managed to complete my workout without too much trouble (although the nausea didn’t help) and even managed to get some freelance done. I should be feeling upwards of 95% tomorrow and I am looking forward to it. Yippee!

In other news, I think I’m going to totally ditch the whole ‘meat’ scene again. Yep, I’m going old school. I don’t eat much meat as it is and I don’t miss it. Sure, I’ll crave a hamburger once in a while, but beyond that, I’m good to go. I’ll just have to address those cravings when they strike. No big. In the meantime, I will continue to eat chicken, turkey, and fish, but will limit my poultry to that of the free-range and certified organic variety.

Also, I’m ditching dairy. I just have to. It’s not about the book (Skinny Bitch), but it sure did help. I’ve been slowly introducing organic dairy and soy-based products into my ‘diet’ since day one. I cannot remember the last time I drank milk (except for those lattes). I can’t eat eggs (newly acquired allergy) and won’t slit a wrist over Egg Beaters since I just started eating them. A stick of butter can last in our house for six months before we need to replenish (and that was before I started eating healthier). Ice cream? Pshht. Eating ice cream is like eating a slug. That shit coats my throat with mucous like no-body’s business. It leaves me parched, gives me a belly ache, and causes my blood sugar to nose-dive into oblivion. I’m pretty sure I can do without it (fro-yo is another story). For those items I can’t live without? I will simply swap this-for-that and learn to love it.

My only real concern is avoiding prepared foods that contain dairy. That will be a challenge. For the time being, I am going to limit myself to certified organic foods that may or may not contain dairy. From there, I will slowly ween myself off dairy for the most part.

I don’t feel as though I have to really justify these changes, but I’ve been leaning toward making them for a few weeks now — especially in the dairy department. It’s a topic that Jillian Michaels is not shy about addressing during her weekly radio show. Reading Skinny Bitch solidified it for me.

Maybe it was fate? Who knows.

What I do know is that I have to be real with myself. I have to be OK with the idea that I may fall short or make misinformed decisions along the way. When that happens (and believe me, it will), I will simply remind myself that this — like any goal — requires ups, downs, and inbetweens before success can be achieved. At the same time, it’s important for me to stress the idea that nothing is truly ‘off-limits’. I want to make changes and I want to employ them as best I can, but labeling something ‘off limits’ is a recipe for disaster. Why? In addition to being completely bad-ass, I am also incredibly rebellious and self-sabotaging. The minute I curse something to hell is the minute I crave it.

Oh, self. You are a mysterious being, but interesting nonetheless.

With that said, The Girl and I are heading to my parents’ house this weekend for a St. Paddy’s day tradition — boiled dinner! Mmm. Corned beef, potatoes, cabbage, turnips, and carrots boiled to death in a large metal pot and served to taste. I’m going to throw this number out there not knowing if it’s fully true, but I’m pretty sure it is: in the last eight years, I’ve probably had boiled dinner twice. Whether or not I actually ate the meat will remain a closely guarded secret held captive by my subconscious.

Obviously, eating any of the aforementioned components is like biting into a cow’s shoulder since it’s cooked together, but I do love a good potato! I haven’t decided for certain whether or not I am going partake in dinner, but I am leaning toward ‘yes’. Why? Why would I eat such a thing when I said I was never going to such a thing two seconds ago?

Good question.

I guess I’m just trying to stay calm about it. It’s easy for me to go from zero to sixty in three seconds flat. I want to start slow and work into it rather than becoming some weirdo Meat Nazi that preaches everyone in ear-shot into a coma. Plus, it’s a family-thing and I know my mother is putting effort into this dish and I want to be able to tell her (et all) of my new journey. I want to give her a heads up rather than showing up and crapping on her dinner.

Did I mention that I like potatoes that have been boiled in cow flesh? Yeah, I think I did.

Honestly, I have nothing against meat itself or people that choose to eat meat. I’ve watched those PETA videos and yes, that is one jacked-up way to treat a living, breathing animal. Unfortunately, I have been cursed with some crazy, super-human ability to erase my memory at any given moment. That means I can watch said video one minute and fry up a fillet the next without blinking (for the most part). I wish I was cool enough to say that I am doing it for humanitarian reasons, but I’m not.

When it ‘boils’ down to it, I am more concerned about the ridiculous lack of responsibility employed by factory farming, the USDA, the FDA, and every one of those bastard government agencies making a dime off poisoning the human population with mounds of hormones and antibiotics. I guess I’m just pissed off that my kid will probably have boobs at the age of three (regardless of its sex!!) and will most likely be learning how to insert a tampon before she loses her first tooth. Lucky for me, the Dairy Industry is sleeping in the same bed.

In my world, bitterness and cynicism can go a long way. I will harness their power for the greater good!

Caffeine is the Devil…

…for me at least.

It all started on Tuesday when a coworker of mine decided to go on a Dunkin’ Donuts run downstairs. I declined, but ended up taking advantage of a free medium Iced Hazelnut Latte Lite (skin milk + Splenda = 120 calories). Let me tell you, it was like drinking crack. Not only did it taste amazing, but it suppressed my appetite something fierce! Before I knew it, the day flew and I was on my way home for the evening.

By the time Friday rolled around, I was chugging my third Latte Lite for the week and buzzing through the days. My Sunday included a tall Skinny Vanilla Late from the ‘Bux. The results? A caffeine wasteland of dookie!

I have been nursing the worst mother-effing caffeine headache from dusk until dawn. And now that I think of it, I was in the same position on Saturday. I feel nauseous, lethargic, and I want to die. Oh, caffeine. I abused you for so long, got rid of you for nearly two months, and then became addicted once again — unknowingly!

I genuinely enjoy the taste of coffee, but these side affects are pretty ridiculous. I literally feel like crap. Instead of taking Wednesday off from exercising, I wasted it this evening on caffeine withdrawal symptoms! So instead of resting my body up for Thursday’s hour-long aerobics class, I am sitting on my ass with my head between my legs screaming for mercy.

Not a great way to start the week, but it was an amazing lesson that I will hopefully remember in the future!

The Chicken or the Egg

Went to the Cheesecake Factory on Saturday (…at this point, I’m beginning to wonder if we should have our mail sent there) with The Girl and my friend Chris. I had my ‘usual’: 1/2 of an obscenely fleshy turkey sandwich and a garden salad as I watched Chris devour his golden brown grilled cheese sandwich and fries piled a mile high and Maeg pick at her spicy enchiladas hidden beneath a blanket of cheese and Pico De Gallo.

We decided to take our full bellies over to Border’s so that I could grab a book I’ve been meaning to purchase for the last few weeks. Small problem: I forgot the name of the book. And the author’s name. And the general subject of the book. That’s cool. I’ll just grab another book, right? Right.

I bought Skinny Bitch.

Yeah. That was a douche-bag decision. According to these skinny bitches, it seems that my only option is to graze through the neighbor’s yard for all of eternity.

If you’re an alarmist or suffer from neurosis, don’t read this book. Seriously, don’t!

If you want to dry heave any time a slice, slab, or hunk of meat crosses your plate, read this book. If you want to hurl any time a loved one picks up a diet soda, read this book. If you want to spend 3/4 of your weekly paycheck buying organic foods for life, read this book. If you want to deepen your hate for the FDA and the commercialization of the food industry ten-fold, read this book.

For me, reading parts of this book is comparable to emptying a bottle of Cayenne Pepper into an open wound — especially the meat-related parts. I stopped eating meat when I was in middle school/high school for three very real reasons:

1. I was insanely paranoid that I would die from ingesting undercooked meat
2. I had control issues
3. I thought it was cool

It’s crazy how far a little neurosis can take you at such a young age, but I was off the blood for years until I contracted mono from a fellow classmate (just say ‘no’ to sharing lip gloss) and became severely anemic during my junior year in high school. I slowly began eating meat (beef and sausage only) in 2002 to reverse the side effects of feeling like complete ass.

To this day, I limit my red meat intake drastically — especially now that I am starting to eat better. Since the beginning of January, I’ve eaten one ostrich burger (which is actually really good), a few helpings of beef jerky, and two tiny slices of ham. Prior to that, I was probably averaging 4-5 ounces of beef and 3 ounces of sausage per week (if that).

Needless to say, I’m not a huge meat eater. Poultry? Now that is another story. If I’m not eating chicken that day then I am most certainly eating turkey instead. Chicken, chicken, chicken, turkey. Not only am I a huge chicken fan, but I also go out of my way to spend an ass-ton on ‘free range’ chicken because it’s supposedly living on some pimp-ass farm in the middle of Cow Country, right? Apparently not, but I won’t get into that. What I will get into is the fact that this book is trying to fuck with my poultry livelihood!

Not only that, but this book took a huge dump on eggs, too. Eating eggs causes my ears and throat to itch so I’m good when it comes to passing up the eggs, but they also decided to crap on Egg Beaters. And fish.

SERIOUSLY, FOLKS. WHAT’S LEFT TO EAT?

I will be swallowing this puppy with a grain o’salt.

And perhaps a chicken omelette to boot.

Failed Experiment

My goal for this week was to avoid calorie overages and avoid them I did! However, I think doing so actually fucked me over. Big time. Not only did I stay under my calorie goals, I upped my workouts in both length and intensity.

I was under my weekly calorie goal by 363 calories and worked out for a whopping 7 hours (that’s +2.5 hrs). Doing so resulted in a meager 1.5 lb loss.

Whoops.

A loss is a loss is a loss and that’s great, but 1.5 pounds after busting my ass? Not something to throw a party over.

I’ve noticed that when I am over my weekly calorie goals by 200-300 cals and hover around 4-4.5 hours of exercise, I seem to lose the most. There was one week back in February when I lost 4 lbs. I was under my weekly calorie allowance by 105 cals and exercised a mere 4 hours.

Its obvious that I need to either eat more or workout less. I am hesitant about working out less because I do want to continue to strengthen my body and become more physically fit. On the other hand, I’m worried about eating more because I don’t necessarily eat the most healthy things all the time, but I do control my portions and end each week very close to my goals. I don’t want to eat crap in an attempt to fill some holes.

RARRRRR.

I guess I’ll increase my calories by 5% and hover around 6 hours workout-wise and see how it goes for the next week.

The Difference is in the Differences

My goal for this week is to steer clear of calorie overages. So far, so good!

Although keeping track of my caloric intake at FitDay is helpful, convenient, and chalk-full of reporting options, it doesn’t seem to alleviate my need for quick ‘n easy numbers. Instead of throwing caution do the wind and ‘dealing’ without the numbers I am most interested in harvesting, I have created a spreadsheet that has allowed me to not only view my calorie totals for the week, but also how much I exercise and how often I go out to eat. I am able to use this data to my advantage and make educated assessments as to how my body reacts to changes in energy consumption and energy output.

Tapping into this data has solidified my understanding of small victories and how important they are to the culmination of a bigger, brighter picture. If I continue to make good choices 95% of the time, I will continue to be successful. In other words, that ice cream sandwich I ate last night probably won’t make its way onto the scale this weekend. Indulging every now and then is no reason to sound the alarms and no reason to spin out control or dive headfirst into a binge-fest. Granted, I probably shouldn’t have ate something that contains trans-fatty badness, but it is what it is. I have officially alleviated my four-day craving for milk/dairy and I probably won’t want to take another trip to Ice Cream Mountain for some time.
A big factor to my current state of success is becoming more and more obvious to me at this point: I’m keeping it real. Instead of pretending to be someone I’m not, I am tailoring my menu to my tastes, my interests, and my skill-level. I’m not trying to become an all-star chef or a hardcore veg-a-holic right out of the gate. Instead, I do my best to incorporate better food choices into my diet without forcing myself to eat shit I am not all that crazy about.

I’ve been at this for a little over three months now and I have yet to encounter a single moment of deprivation. When I want something that is not conducive to my journey, I simply remind myself why it’s not a good idea to partake at this juncture in my life. I refuse to tell myself I ‘cannot’ have something. Restriction = rebellion. Instead, I reason with myself and tell myself that I will soon come to a time and a place in my life where I can indulge in these things in moderation. I hope to arrive at a place where these foods will no longer play a role in my life, but I am realistic in my endeavors.

Friends, I encourage you to remain true to yourself during your journey. While we all share many of the same physiological caveats, we are all very, very different in our own way. I encourage you to embrace your differences and make them work for you.

If anyone wants to check out how my February shaped up, you can take a peek here.