A Summary and a Wish

Seriously, if you are over-weight and ready for a change that will make you shit your pants, I recommend committing to a task you deem ‘impossible’. It’s not the easiest thing to do (mentally), but I promise you this: it will change your life.

Doing so has changed mine.

The first impossible commitment I made was signing up for a low-impact aerobics class. This was an impossible commitment for a few reasons:

1. I was only a few months into my weight-loss journey. My stamina was capped at twenty-five consecutive minutes on the elliptical locked away in a spare bedroom in my apartment.

2. Exercising in public was not only unthinkable, it went against everything I had stood for within the past five years of my life. I spent most of my time avoiding places where I thought my past might catch up to me (namely ‘townie’ hangouts, bars, etc). I spent the remainder of my time searching each and every room I entered to see if I was the fattest there. Surely moving at varying intensities and speeds in-front of people was out of the question.

3. Exercising/making an ass out of myself in-front of my friend (class was her idea) was also not an option. Hell, I’d rather eat fire at that point.

But I did it.

I did it because I knew I had to push myself. I did it because I knew I had to begin writing a new story and stop living between the lines of my past. Achieving something you deem totally and utterly impossible can be scary. How can it not be? You’ve just spent the last umpteen years of your life insulated beneath the lowest ceiling of possibility known to man feeling comfortable and safe from the outside world (even if completely miserable). When there are so few things in this world that make you feel even a semblance of humanity, it’s painfully easy to do anything and everything to hold onto it.

Don’t.

Don’t hold onto that false sense of security.

It’s bullshit.

Start small.

Get a feel for it.

Get a taste of success.

Use whatever positivity you create and build on it — no matter how big or small it may be (even if it’s so small only you can see it).

Then commit to something you deem impossible.

My second impossible commitment was signing up for a work-sponsored 5K. By this time, I had been alternating between the elliptical, Wii Fit, and low-impact aerobics — hardly what you would call running experience. I stared at that sign-up form for a good thirty minutes before filling it out and submitting it.

As soon as I submitted it, I had a full-fledged panic attack. Not only did I just commit to participating in a 5K, I was going to do it in-front of my co-workers. The last thing I wanted to do was fail — and fail publicly. In fact, I had kept my participation a secret until two-weeks before the event because I was unsure as to whether or not I could actually do it. I could have easily backed out at any moment and sat on the sidelines, but I knew that if I did, I would have remained there for the rest of my life.

Instead, I bought sneakers (at that point, I was exercising barefoot (horrible, I know)), bought a treadmill, downloaded a beginner’s 5K training program, and chipped away at my past. When I discovered that the treadmill I had ordered was defective, I returned it and did the unthinkable: I joined a gym. At that point, I was able to convince myself that I had no choice but to move forward. And I was right.

It was the best decision I have ever made in my entire life. I completed my 5K one month ago. I jogged a total of 3.5 miles in 48 minutes @ 211lbs. It could have taken me three hours to do and I wouldn’t have cared one bit. I finished and that’s what mattered.

Now? I am training for a 10K. My mentality lives somewhere between contentment and elation when I think about how far I’ve come within the last eight months of my life. I do my best to stay humble and present, but I just feel so damn good right now that I am bursting. BURSTING. Who says that? AND MEANS IT?

If I had one wish, I would not wish for money. I would not wish for world peace. And I would not wish for a calorie-void pizza pie. Instead, I would ask the Universe to grant my fellow over-weight compadres the courage to make one impossible commitment. And fulfill it.

It’s not an easy road, but I would hardly call living life as an over-weight individual easy. I guess it all comes down to choosing your hard and sticking with it.

I want you to feel this good, too.