F.I.T in N.Y.C

I’m heading down to Milford, CT with my friend Finn after work to kick off our jaunt to NYC. Rather than dropping some serious cash on our sleeping quarters, we’ll be shacking up at the town Marriot and hopping the train to Grand Central Station come tomorrow morning.

Ah, my first trip to NYC as a someone who is less likely to drop dead after walking a few blocks — how exciting! My last trip featured a terribly tubby Me huffing, puffing, and sweating like a whore in church as I made my way from Greenwich Village to Times Square. I remember being extremely proud of myself for making the trek without going into D-FIB in the process. How times have changed! Hopefully we’ll be able to do a lot of walking to off-set the mass quantities of curry, naan, and basmati rice my belly is likely to encounter while visiting. It’s been far too long since our last rendezvous!

Speaking of, I’ve had to really buckle down with my eating due to being sick/MIA from the gym for the past two weeks. I managed to get in a few good workouts before my health took a nose-dive, but they’ve been far and few between (thanks last-minute cluster fuckage). I squeaked by with a 0.5lb loss last week and expect much of the same this week.

And I’m OK with that.

Come Monday, I will be trading the couch and Nyquil for some old fashioned blood, sweat, and tears. As much as I enjoyed my journey to conquer 6.2 miles of pavement by spending the last three months of my life surgically attached to a treadmill, I’m looking forward to spending some quality time with a few of the other machines. I’m also pretty excited about adding strength training to my workouts as well.

You can check out my new schedule here.

100lb-mark, here I come!

Top 100 Progress

With just 66 days left in 2009, here’s how my Hot 100 Challenge is shaping up:

Be more accessible: I was able to successfully complete the last few weeks of my 10K training schedule at a time and location that allowed me to be more accessible during the evenings. My schedule went from: racing home from work –> chowing down –> hitting the gym –> showering –> blogging/twittering –> bed to working out and showering directly after work –> commuting home with The Girl (we work two blocks apart) –> enjoying dinner –> blogging/twittering –> relaxing –> bed.

Working out directly after work in an adjacent building took some getting used to, but it does the trick. I definitely prefer working out earlier in the evenings rather than hitting the gym at 8:30p.

Reach the 100lb mark: I am down another .5 lbs this week for a total loss of 86 lbs. With just 66 days left until the new year, I will need to lose 1.5 lbs a week for the next 9.4 weeks to reach that coveted 100-lb mark. Doable? Abso-fucking-lutely!

Cook more/introduce more variety into my diet: Overall, I haven’t been doing so well with this one, but I did manage to keep the takeout at bay last week by bringing my lunch to work most days. Something that will not help me achieve this goal: moving. The Girl and I are moving to a new apartment in November. Moving = lives in boxes = recipe for mass quantities of take-out.

Maybe.

Quickie for a Sicky

I’ve been down and out with what I can only assume is the flu. Fever, body aches, headache, fatigue, cough, sweats/chills, etc. It came out of nowhere and hit me like a ton of bricks after pilates class on Thursday. I thought for sure my aches and pains were due to class, but as the night drew on, I felt worse and worse. I didn’t sleep a wink and was beyond miserable all day yesterday — especially last night.

My fever finally broke about an hour ago. I feel a bit better, but not massively. The Girl and I decided to cancel our 4th Annual Pumpkin Party which was supposed to take place this evening. It was upsetting. Halloween is my favorite time of the year and this party has become a tradition. I was sick last year, but mobile enough to get wasted and smoosh a decorative pagoda.

You don’t want to know.

I plan on taking it easy this week in preparation for my trip to NYC on Thurs/Fri/Sat with my friend Finn. Although sitting on the sidelines might just kill me, I can’t imagine being sick for my weekend of fun. As soon as I get home from NYC, The Girl and I are driving up to the White Mountains in New Hampshire to spend Halloween at the Mount Washington Resort for her birthday. It’s rumored to be haunted. Creepilicious.

In other fatty bitch news, I’ve been working on a new workout schedule that will debut the first week in November. More on that later.

Out with the Old

I’m having a hard time trying to decide what my next training venture should be. Do I want to train for another event? Or do I want to create and follow a workout schedule that is not tethered to something so specific?

Event training means pre-designed schedules and ‘big day’ buffer flies galore. Event training gives me something oh-so tangible to strive for and another bib to pin on the fridge. Its built-in motivation (not dying in front of a million people) allows me to take an ‘auto-piloted’ approach to exercise. And it’s quantifiable. I like that.

Non-event training means doing something I haven’t done since mid-April when I began training for my first event. Non-event training means stepping out of my comfort zone and straying from an equation that has worked wonders for me thus far. That scares me. If I’m not training to cross that finish line (physical, not proverbial), what will challenge me to break out of my comfort zone? What will keep me going when all I want to do is stop mid-rep or jump off that belt mid-stride?

The truth is, I’m going to get results whether I’m training for an event or if I’m training to remain an active participant in my life as long as I give 110% during each and every workout. Instead of using the ‘finish line’ as measurement of my success, I will be forced to adopt a new mindset to keep me on track. I will need to actively remind myself that every second spent beyond my comfort zone = growth — not just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well.

Event training has given me the strength I needed at the start of my journey, but it’s time to take the training wheels off. After all, complacency kept me at 271 lbs for far too long — it’s sure as hell not going to keep me from challenging myself at 185 lbs. It’s time to break out of my comfort zone and go commando!

Does this mean I’ll never train for another event? Absolutely not. I love event training and will most likely train for a sprint triathlon or a half marathon in the coming months. Until then? I need to face my fears head on and conquer them.

Up next — devising the perfect workout schedule.

Real-World Results

Between the 10K, umpteen birthdays, trillions of concerts, apartment hunting, and holiday celebrations, October is quickly becoming the busiest and most action-packed month I’ve seen all year. Normally, birthdays and outings mean over-indulging and poor decisions, but this month is shaping up to be a pretty successful one

Starting weight: 271 lbs
Current weight: 185.5 lbs
Loss this week: -4.5 lbs (!)
Total Loss: -85.5 lbs (!!)

Before I give myself a huge pat on the back for posting a 4.5 lb loss, I can’t help but wonder if said loss was supplemented by the the ridiculous amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend. Between The Girl’s birthday dinner on Friday and Chris’ birthday bash last night, I consumed enough alcohol to kill three grown men.

Or maybe I’m just a ‘light weight’ now.

Either way, I was feeling good after a few drinks. Really good. I was feeling so good that I attempted a headstand in my very own kitchen Friday evening. And Saturday was no exception. There were no headstands, but there was swimming in the hotel pool and Dance Dance Revolution. I’m also covered in bruises which can only mean one thing: I had an ass-load of fun.

I was able to enjoy myself without obliterating my calorie goals and taking a giant step backward in the weight-loss department because I’ve spent the last ten months of my life repairing my relationship with food and practicing personal responsibility. Instead of denying myself of enjoyment, I employ techniques that only add to the enjoyment factor such as:

- Going out for dinner and drinks on Friday? No problem. I’ll get in a good workout during my lunch hour (even though I was supposed to take the week off!) and choose low-cal breakfast, lunch, and snack options to ensure a guilt-free evening amongst friends.

- Heading to my parents house for birthday lunch and cake before heading to Chris’ birthday bash on Saturday? No problem. I’ll challenge my hangover to a duel and kick its ass all over the treadmill to ensure a decent calorie burn. I’ll enjoy one small slice of cake instead of having cake at both functions. I’ll eat a satisfying lunch rather than snacking on unsatisfying food items throughout the evening. Hell, I’ll even let my second hangover prevent me from partaking in the hotel’s breakfast buffet!

Losing weight isn’t about being perfect. Losing weight doesn’t automatically banish you to a life of steamed veggies, bland chicken breast, and shitty green tea. Losing weight doesn’t mean you’ll never be able to go out and enjoy yourself in the company of amazing people in real-world situations. Losing weight is about taking responsibility for your actions. It’s is about moderation. It’s is about compromise, honesty, and forgiveness.

Oh yeah, and headstands, too.

Good Will and Good Riddance

I think I shrank over night. Very few of my t-shirts seem to fit and I’m almost certain it’s time to head over to Kohl’s to buy another two pairs of jeans in a smaller size (14!). I like the idea of getting smaller/taking up less space, but what happened to the warning signs? I don’t recall ever going to sleep only to wake up a full size smaller in the past ten months. Why now?

I’m in full-fledged Wardrobe Panic Mode!

- I now have a total of two hoodies that fit, but only after laundry day. What good is a hoodie if you can’t get multiple wears out of it?

- I now have a total of five to eight t-shirts that range from decent to slightly baggy in the fit department. I went from twenty t-shirts to eight. EIGHT! And this is after replacing all of my older Fatty Tees with smaller, Less Fatty Tees.

- I now have a total of two pairs of jeans (+ one pair of cords) that fit, but only after laundry day. How am I supposed to live on two pairs of jeans that have a cumulative life-span of two days? Ridiculous!

- I now have a drawer full of underwear that do not fit. When I say drawer, I mean drawer (as in 30+ pairs). I still wear them, but often spend the better part of my day fishing them out of my crack.

- I now have a total of two bras that fit and better continue to fit because I am not down with settling into a B cup. No way, no how. I will go on a BK binge before I let these puppies sag any lower.

- I now have a winter coat that is at least two sizes too big. I was convinced that The Girl and I could squeeze into it together and zipper it. We tried, but failed. Two more inches and I’ll have myself the ultimate ‘after’ photo.

Not only am I running out of clothing, but I’m stuck in this weird limbo when it comes to what type of clothing I should purchase in the near future. I love my eccentric t-shirts dearly, but I’m looking forward to expanding my wardrobe beyond that of a twelve-year old boy. At the same time, I don’t want to buy really cute/fun clothing only to replace said cute/fun clothing in a few months with smaller cute/fun clothing. Maybe I’m playing the ‘upgrading = expensive’ card because I am scared shitless to venture into the big bad world of Real People Clothing.

Weight-loss = one big change + one big challenge after another.

What to do, what to do.

10K Recap

After months of training, today was the day. 10K Day! I am proud to say that I achieved my goal of jogging the entire 6.2 mile course without stopping — over-passes and underpasses included. Boston is so not flat!!

I jogged alongside my friend Cassie who began working out in June and counting her calories in July. To date, she has lost fifty pounds and is well on her way to reaching her goal weight of 150 lbs. Out of the handful people who were supposed to join me on this day, she was the last one standing. She jogged beyond the 3-mile mark before slowing down to a brisk walk. She walked the 4th mile and jogged most of the 5th. She sprinted down the stretch with me and never looked back. We stayed together the whole time, bumping elbows, passing people, and being passed ourselves.

The best part? She beat me by four seconds.

My official time was 1:21:24. Her time was 1:21:20. There were 700+ women between us and ‘last place’.

I am so, so, so glad and incredibly thankful to have shared such an amazing moment with her. We plan on attending this event next year and for years to come.

The first two miles were the toughest. Even though it was clear that I was moving (arms flailing, chest rising and deflating at an alarming rate, etc), I felt like I was spinning my wheels and not covering much ground. As soon as we hit mile three, I was on auto-pilot. I knew I was going to make it without stopping at that point. My favorite part of the race was Mile 4. We jogged up and over the Charles River via the Harvard Bridge (and here!). It was absolutely breathtaking. I wanted to do it all over again as soon as we stepped foot on Commonwealth.

Between Mile 3 and Mile 4, I distinctly recall dancing and singing to my play list. I remember high-fiving Cassie and choking on a cup of water. I remember smiling so fucking big that my entire face hurt. But as soon as I crossed that finish line, it felt like the race never happened. It felt like the sea of 7,000 women of all ages, sizes, and walks of life working toward the same goal was simply a mirage — gone in a flash.

At least on the surface.

It’s crazy how far you can come with a little bit of consistency and a lot of heart. There are many of you who fall into this category. I’m just proud to be a member of the club.

Keep on keepin’ on, my friends.

Quick Update

- I’m down 2lbs this week for a total of 82lbs gone, gone, gone.

- I have officially met and exceeded my goal to lose 81lbs by November 3rd!

- I will be participating in my first 10K tomorrow at Noon O’Clock. My goal is to jog the whole thing — even if I am the last person to cross that finish line. My best friend Cassie is coming along for the ride. She’s lost over fifty pounds since July and has blown my efforts out of the water. I’m so excited to share this experience with her. She is such a bad-ass. Couch to 10K? I’m in awe of this girl. Truly.

- I just drank something that’s supposed to make me sleepy, but really, it just made my entire mouth itchy.

- I went apple picking with my friend Chris today. It was my first time…
Read more »

Eight for Nine

I weighed myself yesterday and today even though my official weigh-in isn’t until tomorrow. I normally wouldn’t mention something like this because it makes absolutely no difference what I may have weighed yesterday or today. Whatever number shows up tomorrow is my ‘official weight’ for the week. There have been times when I’ve weighed myself on Saturday ‘out of curiosity’ only to face an increase the next day. It’s annoying as hell and a really great reason not to give into those moments, but it is what it is.

Still, I weighed myself yesterday and today like a moron.

Yesterday: I had a surprise run-in with a not-so-special visitor upon waking up and was fully clothed when I approached the Digital Devil himself. I’m not sure why I felt the need to weigh myself, but I did. The scale read 196.5 lbs. It didn’t really bother me to see that number. After all, I was clothed and riding the cotton pony. Surely it wasn’t going to be the most accurate number in the world.

Today: I decided to test the waters again before heading out to run some errands. I was fully clothed again and totally on the rag. The scale read 185.5 lbs. I laughed. Really? I mean, I know that weight can fluctuate like a mofo on the daily, but eleven pounds?

I can only imagine what crazy insane number is going to show up tomorrow. Whatever it is, I will be fine with it. This journey isn’t about numbers. It’s about earning my life back. It’s about pushing myself to the limits. And then some. According to those measurements, I am doing just fine.

Then why do I keep weighing myself ‘out of curiosity’? Probably because I didn’t workout very much this week, ate at a shitload of take-out (and I mean a shitload), and wanted to prepare myself for a crappy Sunday weigh-in. Instead, I got a nice laugh out of it and feel that much closer to easing my grip on that damn scale.

This week has been filled with a lot of curve balls, but it’s been a great one. I ended up missing Monday’s Stretch & Tone class due to The Girl having back problems stemming from nerve damage she sustained a few years ago. It took her forty minutes to walk down the six stairs (!) leading to our apartment. I wasn’t about to leave her stranded and in pain on the couch while I got my buff on. I was going to make up said class on Tuesday, but my friend (and ride!) canceled five minutes before I left work. I could have taken the outbound train there, the inbound train back, and then caught the bus home, but man, what a hassle. Better to meet up with Korey for some serious Movie Night time! Yes, indeed.

I finally made it to the gym on Wednesday and Thursday, but it was packed on Thursday and all the treadmills were taken. I hit the elliptical and busted out 3.1 miles in twenty-six minutes. I did some backwards crap for the last four minutes and I’m still feeling the effects on my calves! I switched to the bike for the last thirty and rode my ass off to the tune of 7.5 miles. I felt like a rock star.

Taking it ‘easy’ this week in preparation for my 10K on Monday has been a nice change of pace. Doing so has allowed me to take a step back and reevaluate my endeavors. I’ve become far too rigid and way too intense with my workout schedule lately. I should have taken the hint when I found myself crying over a missed training session a few weeks ago. Missing a workout will not kill me. Consistency will keep me strong. Obsession will only poison my efforts.

Hmm…

Since I can’t think of a good segue for this next statement, I’m just going to say it:

In the past nine days, I have gotten take-out eight times.

EIGHT TIMES! So much for that ‘Hot 100‘ goal! The upside? Four of the seven places had their nutritional information readily available (what would I do without my iPhone?), and I went pretty ‘basic’ at the other places which made estimating my calorie count a bit easier.

Here’s how it played out:

Friday – Uppercrust
- 1 slice of cheese thin-crust wheat pizza: 272 cals (est)

Saturday – The 99
- BBQ turkey tips: 320 cals
- Plain baked potato: 173 cals
- Steamed broccoli: 20 cals
- 1/2 strawberry mimosa cake: 200 cals (est)

Sunday – Panera Bread
- Black bean soup (cup): 200 cals
- Smoked turkey sandwich (whole): 560 cals
- The lady at Panera totally screwed up my order. Instead of giving me a Pick Two (cup of soup + half a sandwich), she gave me a bowl of soup and a whole sandwich. And like a dummy, I ate it!

Monday – Shino Express
- Avocado roll w/brown rice (2): 280 (est)
- Soy sauce (tbsp): 15 cals
- Green salad w/two tiny pieces of tomato & hot sauce as dressing: 25 cals (est)

Tuesday – Big A Subs
- Grilled chicken (1 cup) wrap w/tomatoes: 540 cals (est)

Wednesday – B Good
- Hamburger w/pickels, lettuce, tomatoes: 385 cals
- Baked fries (half order): 142 cals
- Ketchup: 30 cals

Friday – Fajitas & Ritas
- Grilled Chicken (1/2 cup) quesadilla (w/o cheese): 266 cals (est)
- Guacamole (1/4 cup): 91 cals (est)
- Strawberry Margarita (8 oz): 376 (est)

Saturday – Panera Bread
- Baked Potato Soup (cup): 220 cals
- Classic Cafe Salad (1/2): 80 cals
- Whole grain baguette: 190 cals
- I normally substitute the baguette for an apple, but I totally forgot to ask the cashier to hook me up. Consequence? 190 calories down the friggin’ drain!
- Hard-packed, low-fat frozen yogurt (1 cup): 214 cals (est)

Holy shit. That’s a lot of take-out!

Dining out normally means a lot of hidden calories and a slew of processed foods, but it doesn’t have to. I could have thrown caution to the wind and overindulged at least umpteen times in the last eight days, but I stuck to my guns and made some pretty fabulous choices. In fact, I ended both this week and last week slightly under my calorie goals. Losing weight doesn’t mean you can’t join your friends at the dinner table ever again or that you have to kiss all of your favorite foods goodbye. It’s all about making smart choices, eating in moderation, and expending those calories in a way that works for you.

You Can Put Lipstick on a Pig…

My sister and I went dress shopping on Saturday to find her new digs for an upcoming event. The last time I saw my sister in a dress was when I was five years old. She was six.

The culprit? Sports!

On yeah, and obesity.

My sister and I were both star athletes growing up. Every waking moment was spent playing sports, talking about sports, or attending sporting events. Girly threads were swapped for tracksuits, sweat pants, and mesh shorts. If it wasn’t sports-related, it wasn’t of interest to us.

Our ‘girly muscle’ is still pretty atrophied because of it, but our shared morbid obesity (she shed 65+lbs last year and has kept it off!) made matters even worse. Once we traded our hockey skates and softball bats for college class, work schedules, and boxes of Kraft Mac & Cheese, we both packed on the pounds. As soon as I ballooned, my mind-body connection simply short-circuited.

There’s just something incredibly de-feminizing about being overweight (for me, anyway). I burrowed into and hid beneath whatever baggy, gender neutral clothing I could get my hands on. I chose ‘gender neutral’ clothing (men’s tees, jeans, hoodies) because being a girl made being fat a hundred times worse.

Even when I was an athlete, I was never happy with my body. I didn’t look like my friends — slim, trim, and clad in cute sweaters from clothing stores just beyond my reach. I was short, stalky, and had a killer slap shot. Instead of embracing my talents and interests, I felt like an outsider banished from the Cool Club. It sucked.

I received an extra large helping of hindsight when I transformed from a powerhouse into a powdered doughnut once high school ended. It took spending some quality time on the other side of the fence for me to realize that being different wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Sure I was different, but I was a good different. I was a goal-scoring, home-run-hitting talent machine. I was awesome! But I spit on it, gave into the social stigmas, and rode into the sunset with a slice of pizza instead. It look me a very, very, very long time to forgive myself taking such a giant leap backwards in my life, but I got there. It took me seven years to get to that point, but once I did, everything else has fallen into place. Forgiveness is truly the first step to weight-loss.

I wonder if my sister would agree.

Becky found a dress at the first store we went to. It’s a beautiful deep purple satin number with a black mesh overlay. It’s dotted with sparkles and stones and is strapless no less. It looked amazing on her (despite the brown and white Bruins cap sitting atop her head). I hope she’s ready for a night of ‘ohhhs’ and ‘ahhhs’ because they’re going to be endless!

And I hope she is ready to go dress shopping with me some day.

I can’t wait.