Going the Extra Mile

Weekly Weigh In

Starting weight: 271 lbs
Current weight: 168 lbs
Loss last week: +1
Total Loss: 103 lbs

Squeaking by with a mere one pound gain after consuming around 2,250 calories per day for the last week is a win in my book! According to my GoWearFit, I still managed to create a small calorie deficit each day – meaning I shouldn’t have gained a thing — but at this point, it could be anything. Like the sodium from the pizza I ate last night or the fact that I jogged ten miles yesterday afternoon.

Yep.

I jogged ten consecutive miles yesterday just for the hell of it. There have been many times where I have felt like I could go on ‘forever’ after logging a 5-mile jog or a 10K, but never followed through. I especially felt that way last week when I set out on a 5.2-mile course through my neighborhood before hitting the town with the Usual Suspects. I bumped the mileage up to a full 10K just as the sun began to set. ‘If I had more time,’ I thought to myself, ‘I’d give it a shot…’

Well, yesterday was that day.

The weather was absolutely gorgeous — 42 degrees and blue skies as far as the eye could see. I set out wearing black fleece pants and paired my camisole and t-shirt with a brand-spanking-new Adidas zip-up I randomly purchased that morning and my go-to knit cap. I dug through my closet and pulled out the Camelbak I won over at Carlos’ blog ‘just in case’ I wanted to try my hand (or foot?) at doubling my mileage. I cleaned and filled my little prize before realizing the damn thing didn’t come with a strap. Now what?! Well, I did what any girl with a few McGuyver episodes under her belt would do:

I made the thing into a backpack using hockey laces and called it good.

I set the trip on my GoWearFit, zipped up my jacket, adjusted my C-bak, hit shuffle on my playlist, and set off into the afternoon with the wind at my back. Or so I thought. The wind was up in my grill during 50% of my route — a route that is predominantly comprised of steady inclines and forgiving declines — especially as I made my way over the Route 16 overpass and into the neighboring city. Wind resistance + incline = running through quick-sand. But I continued on.

While it’s important not to push yourself too hard or try to do too much when it comes to mileage and pace (10% being a ‘safe’ weekly increase), I knew I could hack it with the 20+ miles I’ve been consistently jogging each week. I slowed my pace and shortened my stride when I needed to conserve energy and picked up the pace when I was feeling good. I was listening to my body the entire time and even had The Girl on stand-by in case I needed to be ‘rescued’ mid-route.

Being out on the sidewalk alone for over two hours may be a total bore for some, but I was truly in my element. For me, distance running is about being one with your body and being completely self-reliant. For someone who spent the better part of ten years caught in a web of self-destruction, self-deprecation and self-abuse, there’s nothing quite like a long run to really put things into perspective.

Half marathon in May? Hell, let’s do it tomorrow.

The Stats
Miles: 10-10.2
Steps: 20,047
Time: 2:04
Cals: 1175 burned
Aches: None! I feel no different than I would have if I spent my entire day horizontal. Insanity.

Artifacts of a Past Life

Firstly, I’d like to thank everyone who took the time to respond to my last blog entry. I don’t quite address the masses as much as some of my fellow bloggers do. Believe me when I say that no word, no syllable, and no second you throw my way goes unread or under appreciated. This community is unlike anything I have ever witnessed and something I am extremely proud and honored to be a part of.

In short: you all kick a lot of ass. And I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Now back to business.

I ate a shit-load of crap again today, but I have not binged. Even though I’ve been on this journey for over a year, I must continue to celebrate each step in the right direction — whether I have taken that step a hundred times or whether I am taking it for the first time. Getting through this day binge-free is a victory worth celebrating. There are going to be setbacks and bumps along this road; that’s life. Shit is going to hit the fan and shit is going to get messy. There are going to be times where these ‘perfect storm’ scenarios creep up and strangle you to death with their grubby little hands. My ‘perfect storm’ scenario involves stress and lots of it.

Although I function ‘well’ under moderate stress, I am known to completely fly off the handle-bars when the going gets super tough (just ask The Girl). If I had to put a number on it, I’d say that I am functioning at 90% capacity about 95% of the time. I should note that reaching 100% capacity packs enough punch to spur an Apocalypse. I wish I was joking. Over the past two weeks, I’ve been functioning at 98% capacity. ‘Functioning’. Much of my recent stress is job-related, but some is personal.

Let’s talk about work.

While I understand that being a graphic designer for a very successful eCom company will never make the ‘World’s Top 1 Trillion Stressful Jobs’ list, it can be a bit much at times. It takes a lot (and I mean a lot) of brain power to conceptualize creative materials and later construct them pixel by pixel day after day, month after month, year after year. Throw inconceivable deadlines and/or rigid marketing guidelines on top of it and you’ve got a recipe for implosion. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job and I love my profession, but it can be incredibly draining at times. At times.

In addition to me forty-hour work-week, I also freelance up to twenty-hours per week. Since I don’t have a bunch of time I can throw at these project during the week, I often string a few short hours together during the week just to get stuff done. In short: I work from the time I get home (8p) to the time I go to bed (11p). Lather, rinse, repeat.

Anyone who freelances knows one thing: when it rains, it pours. It’s not uncommon to go a week or two without work only to get totally slammed up the a-hole with six or seven projects at once — something that occurred two weeks ago during a hellacious work week. Needless to say, the flood gates had opened and took a dump on my precious stress-free parade in the blink of an eye! Not only did I spend forty hours banging my head against a wall, I freelanced during all of my spare time including Tuesday night when I was up until 1am laying out a wedding album. And binging. Due to the nature of this work, projects often stick around for weeks (or in some cases months) because of the review and revision process that each design undergoes. If I’m feeling totally burnt, a day off the sauce is inevitable. However, a ‘day off’ means I’m working twice as hard the next day just to ‘catch up’ and get things done on time.

It’s an endless cycle.

Here comes the epiphany:

My freelance habits evolved during a time in my life when I felt empty, pathetic, and 100% out of control. Looking back, I used freelance work as a means to ‘fill a hole’ inside of me. It was a hole so deep, so dark, and so painful. It was a hole born out of poor choices and self-abuse. Freelance was a distraction that allowed me to forget about myself and my world and enter an alternate universe full of good deeds and exceeded expectations. Even though I couldn’t bend over to tie my shoe or carry groceries without going into defib, I could whip up an awesome website or logo that made my clients shit their pants with joy. I would literally put my life on hold to get shit done for other people because it provided me with a smidgen of self-worth. Doing these things — no matter how ridiculous or down right offensive they were — made me feel like I was making a positive contribution somewhere for someone even if it meant doing so at my own expense (or the expense of others).

When it came to freelance, it didn’t matter that I was some fat slob sitting behind a computer monitor. I was getting shit done and I was doing it well. Instead of putting all of that time and energy into taking control of my own life, I chose to put it into something else — something fleeting and somewhat frivolous. There were times when I spent every waking moment tied to the computer in a desperate attempt to feel good about myself. This put a lot of strain on my relationship. A lot. But I didn’t care because I was in such a terrible place mentally and emotionally at that time. I was convinced that I was nothing without freelance. Nothing.

In a lot of ways, freelance is an artifact of a life that seems almost alien to me now. Don’t get me wrong, it has provided me with a lot of skill and a lot of experience in a field that I am very passionate about. When it’s not all ‘crazy like’, I really enjoy doing it because it allows me to be more creative and innovative since my 9-5 can be much too rigid for its own good. Still, I think it’s time to scale back the freelance. I think it’s time to limit my availability. I think it’s time to set more realistic boundaries and to release myself from the crutch-aspect once and for all. I mean, freelance is 30% of the reason I am perma-functioning at 90% capacity.

90% is just too unforgiving at this point — not just for me, but for those I love as well.

Stress and Adjustments

Alright, alright. All that shit I said about not caring if the scale doesn’t move is total crap. I care and it’s stressing me out. I’m stressing because as much as I’d like to go home after work every day and suck down a pizza and a pint of ice cream, I’m at the gym hauling ass and working on my running form. And as much as I totally enjoy working out and know how important it is to mirco-manage my every morsel, I’m tired. I’m tired because I’m always doing something. Even when I’m doing nothing, I’m doing something.

And when you do something, it’s only natural to want something in return.

Just ask my ego.

Seeing a new number each week got really comfortable really fast. I’d lace my sneakers up, jog a little, eat well, and come home to a nice number week after week. I haven’t seen a nice number in almost a month. I’ve been bouncing between 167 and 169 for what seems like an eternity. The first week of Operation Increase went well. I saw a 4-lb loss, but since? It’s been downhill and I have somehow convinced myself that I need to eat even more calories to get that scale moving. More, more, more. I’ve eaten so much this week it’s ridiculous. Much of the shit I’ve been stuffing down my pie hole is terribly uncharacteristic as well. Bacon on my chicken wrap? Since when? ‘Throw it on, I could use the extra 90 calories’. I’m still eating the apples and the bananas and the spinach and the foo-foo organic BS, but I’m also eating ridiculous things such as a bacon on my chicken wrap and side of beef jerky during breakfast.

And maybe mini Twix bars.

What on earth possessed me to buy a bag of mini Twix bars at Target last night!? As if that was going to end well with the week I’ve been having. I literally just devoured 8 of them. In a row. After eating a cup of sugar-free vanilla frozen yogurt with grape nuts. And before a 98% fat-free burrito from Trader Joe’s. But after eating a bag of Sour Patch Kids directly after my workout (you know, after the apple).

Does this blog look like it belongs to someone looking to lose those ‘last twenty pounds’ or someone who is looking to enter a diabetic coma? I really need to know. And to make matters worse, I sought advice earlier from a total stranger with a catchy blog title. My world was turned inside-out in under three minutes flat. I couldn’t help but walk away with that Congratulations-on-losing-100-pounds-but-you’re-doing-it-all-wrong vibe.

Cue additional unnecessary stress.

Anyhow. Just thought I’d stop by and bash the keys before nursing my coma on the couch for the next decade. I’m not feeling great about my actions this evening or about my choices within the past two weeks. This entry serves as my ‘step back’ and my ‘deep breath’. I refuse to sit here and talk about ‘going off plan’ or name ‘five things I need to do better.’ I’ve made some poor choices, but they’re not going to kill me. Dishonesty? That just might.

Guess I should mention the fact that I cut my workout short this evening as well.

First. Time. Ever.

Cheerio!

(No pun intended.)

Observations

I’m not sure how creepy it is for me to pick up on my co-worker’s eating habits, but I can’t help it. I sit next to these people for eight hours each day and forty hours each week and thrive on pattern recognition! Here’s the skinny on my co-workers’ eating habits:

RoboBoss
- Never snacks
- Lunch is usually a salad from Tossed, bowl of soup, or a burrito from Qdoba
- Participates in work-sponsored Basketball league instead

The Whopper
- Rarely snacks
- Snack may be an apple or very rarely a small bag of chips provided (for free) in snack room
- Lunch is usually a sandwich or a wrap from a nearby restaurant. Once ate a salad — once.
- Activity level unknown, but ditched out of running the Corporate Challenge that same day last June

Chomparella
- Snacks twice daily
- Snacks are usually a handful of crackers or baby carrots (early morning) and an apple (late afternoon)
- Lunch is usually a cup of noodles or a PB&J sandwich
- Activity level unknown, but holds gym membership

The Janice
- Snacks constantly throughout the day
- Snacks are usually granola and/or dry cereal (Chex, Just Bunches, etc.), a banana, 1-2 small bags of chips and/or 2-3 servings of Trader Joe’s Pita puffs
- Lunch varies between Trader Joe’s frozen meals (Indian, Mac & Cheese, etc.), sandwiches, home-cooked left-overs, cup of noodles, or the occasional meal from a nearby restaurant/food court in the mall below
- Activity level: 30 minutes of cardio, 10 mins of core/stretching 2-3x per week during lunch hour

t-Rex
- Rarely snacks
- Snack may be a small bag of chips (baked variety) or a few pieces of Starburst provided in snack room
- Lunch is usually Trader Joe’s enchiladas (frozen), tuna wrap, or falafel wrap from local restaurant with a side of baby carrots
- Activity level: Currently training for Boston Marathon

The Hoff
- Sometimes snacks multiple times throughout day, sometimes doesn’t (most often snacks on Fridays)
- Snacks are usually two toasted Strawberry Pop-Tarts (could be breakfast), bag of chips (usually Goldish) and/or candy (fun-sized Crunch Bar, Skittles, etc) provided in room
- Lunch varies between a bowl of soup, a half-sandwich/soup combo from Au Bon Pain, one slice of pizza (infrequent), or some other food court concoction
- Activity level unknown

Yours Truly
- Snacks mid-morning and pre-workout
- Snacks vary between fruit cup, organic beef jerky, peanut butter filled pretzels, organic oatmeal cookie, a few Sweet Tarts or an organic apple with slice of organic swiss cheese
- Lunch varies between bean & cheese burritos with a side of spinach, ziti with canned chicken with a side of spinach, mac & cheese with canned tuna with a side of vegetable medley, tuna wrap with a side of spinach and serving of chips, organic low-sodium turkey breast with tomatoes, guacamole, and a side of spinach (all compliments of Trader Joe’s), a salad from Tossed, or the occasional meal a nearby restaurant (chicken shawarma, turkey burger, or sushi).
- Activity level: 20-23 miles of jogging, 5 miles of walking, 40-60 minutes of strength training per week

The idea for this post originated from a growling stomach around 10am this morning. I had ‘just’ eaten a mocha Balance Bar (sad substitute for my beloved Chocolate Peanut Mojo Clif Bars), a blueberry Oikos yogurt, and an organic oatmeal cookie (420 total calories) at 8am and was quite surprised by said hunger pangs. I thought, ‘How could I be hungry?! I feel like I’m eating all the damn time…’ Well, it’s true. If I’m spending over 80% of my day at work, surely it makes sense to consume 80% of my calories there. Right?

Who knows.

What I do know is that I wouldn’t be able to squeak by on a Cup-o-Noodles or call it a day after a bowl of chicken soup. By the time I’m done with work, working out, and commuting home with El Wifeo, it’s 8pm. Eating 80% of my calories during my workday day and supplementing with a smaller dinner makes sense for me. Still, it’s surprising how little my co-workers eat — especially t-Rex. She is currently training for the Boston-freaking-Marathon and eats maybe 400 calories total between the hours of 9a-6p. I often wonder if she eats a thirty-course dinner each night to make up for it. I mean, really? 400 calories? Please.

Is this lackluster lunch epidemic a byproduct of being inundated with single-course, pre-packaged meals or are people just not that hungry during the eight or so hours spent sitting behind a desk? Have we as a society lost sight of what it means to enjoy a well-balanced fare during our lunch hour? Or am I totally off-base? Whatever the case may be, it’s interesting to witness how different people interact with food. It’s interesting because my personal relationship with food has been distorted for so long. I don’t judge or scrutinize what others eat, but rather notice these things because I judge and scrutinize what I eat. It’s a mini dietary experiment taking place in my own little Work Ecosystem — an ecosystem where I no longer reign as the Workplace Fatty McButter Pants. Yeee-ah!

The contents of my desk drawer: Veggie crisps, peanut butter filled pretzels, sourdough bread (locally baked), Trader Joe’s canned tuna (lowest sodium around!), Trader Joe’s canned salmon, organic oatmeal cookies, brown sugar (for my squash), cinnamon, paper plates (I refuse to mircowave the work-provided Styrofoam plates), plastic spoons and forks, Stevia (used maybe twice, I prefer real sugar), toothbrush and toothpaste for those ‘after work’ dental visits, and Dayquil.

Not pictured: The Trader Joe’s organic beef jerky I polished off during breakfast yesterday morning.

Game Face, Bro

Weekly Weigh In

Starting weight: 271 lbs
Current weight: 167 lbs
Loss last week: 0
Total Loss: 104 lbs
Thoughts: I may have consumed more calories this week than originally planned (around 8%), but there is no way in hell I ate through my deficits — especially after jogging 23 miles and lifting over 16,000 pounds within the last seven days.

It’s official. I will be switching to bi-weekly (or possibly monthly) weigh-ins once the Biggest Loser competition I’m in ends on March 1st. Weekly weigh-ins were an important part of my weight-loss journey at the beginning, but they have since become a huge pain in my ass. I’ve seen enough goose eggs lately to feed a small country and could really give two shits what the scale reads every week as long as my weight continues to trend downward overall.

The scale is no longer a measurement of progress or success in my eyes. The fact that I busted out 7.1 miles on Saturday in 25-degree weather? Now that is what I call progress. The fact that I’m comfortably wearing a size 12 jean? That is what I call progress. The fact that I can fit in a standard-sized chair? That is what I call progress. The fact that I actually care about myself? That is what I call progress. I’m sick of questioning myself every time I get off that scale — especially when I have no desire to get on it in the first place.

‘Why haven’t I lost weight this week? I’ve burned enough calories for a 2-lb loss!’

‘How the hell am I up a pound? There is no way in hell I consumed a surplus of 3,500 calories!’

‘How the fuck did I lose 4 pounds this week? I didn’t do anything different!’

My mission from the beginning has been simple: get healthy. Weighing myself every week and racking my brain over why I may or may not have lost weight is not healthy. Going in circles with myself over whether I am eating ‘too much’ or ‘not enough’ is not healthy. Eating aimlessly to hit calorie goals because they may or may not help me ‘lose more weight’ is not healthy. Actually, it’s borderline absurd and it’s really starting to affect my eating habits.

When it comes down to it, I consistently fall within 10% of my calorie goals each week. I eat well balanced, organic meals 90% of the time. I enjoy fruits, vegetables, lean meats, and whole grains, but also allow myself to indulge in comfort foods (pizza, mac and cheese, dark chocolate, etc) in moderation. I’m all over my workout schedule like white on rice. I consistently push myself and make zero excuses when it comes time to hit the treadmill or lift those weights. I may have a busy schedule, but I always make time for myself and my workouts.

I do these things because I care about and respect my body. I do these things because they are part of a healthy lifestyle — a lifestyle I am committed to living. I’ll be damned if I let the Naked Scale Dance throw me off my game! The truth of the matter is simple: I will lose the weight. It’s just a question of how and when. Do I want to spend the next few months calculating my every move and forcing morsel or do I want to spend it eating intuitively and logging miles because it has become a true passion of mine?

Sounds like an easy decision to me.

Ain’t No Biz Like Show Biz

I’d absolutely love to sit in one place long enough to pour my scrambled thoughts onto paper, but with the workout shedule and the clinically insane amount of freelance and the picking up of slack at my 9a-5p thanks to a coworker who takes three consecuative days off with a case of the sniffles and the devouring of a 3/4 of a box of chocolate Cheerios in less than fifteen minutes and the sucking down of organic peanut butter cups immediately after and the Moulin Rouge sing-a-long I’m heading to in twenty minutes I GUESS YOU COULD SAY I’VE BEEN BUSY.

I should have a few minutes to spare tomorrow since we’re out of Cheerios. And peanut butter cups.

That is all.

Prevention > Regret

Weekly Weigh In

Starting weight: 271 lbs
Current weight: 167 lbs
Loss over the past two weeks: -2
Total Loss: 104 lbs

I’ve eaten enough pizza in the last two days to feed a small country. I wish I was joking, but I’m not. Between my mother’s birthday gathering last night and left overs for breakfast, I’ve eaten a total of seven slices in less than twenty-four hours. I must be stopped.

I killed three slices of cheese and onion pizza in no time and considered eating more, but was able to put the breaks on before causing a caloric catastrophe during my mother’s birthday gathering. I even debated swapping my slice of chocolate cake for another slice of pizza, but opted to indulge in the sweet stuff instead. My mother cut the 7″ cake into six slices — one for each of us — but The Girl and I split my slice down the middle rather than tackling our respective wedges. It was a choice that saved my calorie goal from imploding before 6pm, but I ultimately pushed my budget over the edge with one very delicious and very ripe banana in the midst of piecing six dining room chairs together between the hours of 9p-11p. I was hungry. And when I’m hungry, I eat. However, I would have been in better shape if I didn’t consume 1,131 calories in one sitting before nightfall.

Ah well. It’s just one day right?

Wrong.

Since I did so well making poor choices yesterday, I figured I’d come out of the gate this morning doing much of the same. After all, there’s only one thing in all of creation that happens to be better than pizza for dinner and that’s pizza for breakfast. By the time 8a rolled around, I was 987 calories into my 1700-calorie allotment after pairing my triple-threat with a cup of hot chocolate and a side of ketchup (don’t ask).

As if that wasn’t enough, I one-upped myself with an equally poor choice of triangular proportions by digging into another slice for lunch. By the time dinner rolled around, I was seriously strapped for cals. I prepared a super delicious and incredibly low calorie meal consisting of two cups of frozen organic spinach, 18 medium-sized shrimp, six tablespoons of low-sodium chipotle salsa (only 10 cals and 35 mg of sodium for 2 tbsp), and a 1/2 cup of organic pinto beans for just 260 calories. (!!) I was poised to end my evening forty calories under my goal when I made the unfortunate but very conscience decision to hit up a Skinny Cow Strawberry Shortcake Ice Cream sandwich.

Or two. Yep. I ate two mother fucking Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches (that were originally purchased on a whim while in the frozen food section looking for ice to make vegan protein shakes knowing full well that they are laden with HFCS) after being so close to escaping another day of overages. It’s one thing to blow your calorie goals as a result of hunger, but quite another to blow them with a mini binge. I thought about eliminating my caloric surge through exercise, but immediately ditched the idea in favor of a healthy day of rest following my Saturday 10K and a week of taking names at Fitcorp. Besides, frantically and obsessively trying to erase a bad choice through regret can’t be healthy. Prevention seems like a much better option.

I may be Skinny Cow-free thanks to a dunk in the litter box, but I need continue my quest to minimizing triggers that have proven to be lethal when combined. Triggers include: getting behind on freelance work (check), setting myself up for disaster by ripping through more than half of my calorie budget in a single meal (check), and drinking caffeinated coffee (check).

Damn you, perfect storm.

Current Playlist

When it comes to workout music, I tend to err on the high energy/good beat side, but as you can see, that’s not always the case (Party in the USA much?). I’m a sucker for my favorites, but I’m always looking for new songs to add. Got suggestions? Leave ‘em here!

Top 5
1. Feel it in My Bones (DJ Tiesto ft Tegan & Sara)
2. Lose It (Eminem)
3. Crazy Possessive (Kaci Battaglia)
4. Bad Romance (Lady Gaga)
5. For a Pessimist, I’m Pretty Optimistic (Paramore)

These songs just never get old.

Also, if you’re in the market for an extra heart-pumping all-in-one workout mix, please allow me to point you in the direction of one of the best workout mixes I have heard to date.

Note: If you’re accessing this blog post via Google Reader, the flash player above is not displaying within the body of the post.

Choosing Your Battles

New obsession: Fat free no sugar added frozen yogurt with Grape Nuts

I don’t do a lot of  ‘diet foods’ (fat-free, sugar-free, reduced fat, etc), but sometimes you’ve just got to compromise! When my friend Chris and I decided to have ice cream delivered last Sunday, I immediately knew what I wanted: vanilla frozen yogurt with a topping of my choice infused throughout its gooey goodness. My initial idea was to go with vanilla fro-yo drenched in pineapple topping, but I was running low on calories and figured pineapple topping wouldn’t be the greatest choice (think: 98% sugar, 2% pineapple = high in calories). I couldn’t find decent/reputable information for its nutritional breakdown so I decided to opt for a topping that would be easier for me to gauge.

Enter Grape Nuts.

I had absolutely no problem finding the nutritional facts which was great, but crappy at the same time. Why crappy? Because 1/2 cup of Grape Nuts contains an astounding 200 calories! It also contains 7 grams of fiber and 6 grams of protein, but 200 calories is a lot to blow on a topping (especially since two Reese peanut butter cups = 210 cals). Even with its higher than legally sane caloric value, I felt that it was the best bang for my nutritional buck since I knew I could cut calories on the ice-cream side of the equation.

Enter fat free no sugar added vanilla frozen yogurt.

Rather than investing 120 calories per half cup for the regular stuff, the low fat no sugar added version contains just 70 calories per half cup. For just 20 calories more, I could enjoy twice the amount. I was sold! All together, this sweet and crunchy concoction checked in at 340 calories — not too shabby for 1.5 cups of a delightful dessert packed with 7 grams of fiber and 14 grams of protein. Also, the delicioso factor was phenomenal. I honestly thought the ice cream place made a mistake and used the regular stuff because it didn’t taste like aspar-vomit at all. I was quite pleased!

Enter The Girl and I stopping by for a heaping helping last night before kicking off Date Night.

Yum.

The above is a good example where quantity came out on top, but there are times when quality reigns supreme. For example, I’ve been snacking a slice of Swiss cheese + medium organic apple before heading to the gym lately. It’s a great tasting way to get in a serving of fruits while keeping it a little interesting with the sharpness of the cheese. I normally opt for a lower-fat Swiss (which undermines my earlier statement re: steering clear of low-fat stuff…) simply because of its high saturated fat content. Unfortunately, Shaw’s doesn’t carry a large variety of organic cheeses so my choices were 1. cheese derived from cows being pumped full of growth hormones and antibiotics with half the calories and half the fat or 2. cheese derived from cows not treated with hormones or antibiotics with twice the fat and twice the calories.

I chose organic.

Frankly, You Suck

Dear Frank’s Hot Sauce,

How dare you taste so good yet be so high in sodium! I was shocked and horrified when I turned your bottle over last night before dousing my chicken and tomato wrap with your sweet, sweet amrita only to find that you contain 200 mgs of sodium per teaspoon. Considering the fact that I’m currently emptying a bottle of your luscious redness on a weekly basis, I have to ask: are you trying to kill me?

And to think, I thought my beef jerky habit was unhealthy! I could eat a three course meal of that shit and not even come close to your sodium content. I’m sure you found great pleasure in watching me sweat The Jerky while giving it to me in the backside without my knowledge.

I thought we were friends!!

Eternally disgusted,
Rachel