Stress and Adjustments
Posted in My Weight-Loss Journey by RachelAlright, alright. All that shit I said about not caring if the scale doesn’t move is total crap. I care and it’s stressing me out. I’m stressing because as much as I’d like to go home after work every day and suck down a pizza and a pint of ice cream, I’m at the gym hauling ass and working on my running form. And as much as I totally enjoy working out and know how important it is to mirco-manage my every morsel, I’m tired. I’m tired because I’m always doing something. Even when I’m doing nothing, I’m doing something.
And when you do something, it’s only natural to want something in return.
Just ask my ego.
Seeing a new number each week got really comfortable really fast. I’d lace my sneakers up, jog a little, eat well, and come home to a nice number week after week. I haven’t seen a nice number in almost a month. I’ve been bouncing between 167 and 169 for what seems like an eternity. The first week of Operation Increase went well. I saw a 4-lb loss, but since? It’s been downhill and I have somehow convinced myself that I need to eat even more calories to get that scale moving. More, more, more. I’ve eaten so much this week it’s ridiculous. Much of the shit I’ve been stuffing down my pie hole is terribly uncharacteristic as well. Bacon on my chicken wrap? Since when? ‘Throw it on, I could use the extra 90 calories’. I’m still eating the apples and the bananas and the spinach and the foo-foo organic BS, but I’m also eating ridiculous things such as a bacon on my chicken wrap and side of beef jerky during breakfast.
And maybe mini Twix bars.
What on earth possessed me to buy a bag of mini Twix bars at Target last night!? As if that was going to end well with the week I’ve been having. I literally just devoured 8 of them. In a row. After eating a cup of sugar-free vanilla frozen yogurt with grape nuts. And before a 98% fat-free burrito from Trader Joe’s. But after eating a bag of Sour Patch Kids directly after my workout (you know, after the apple).
Does this blog look like it belongs to someone looking to lose those ‘last twenty pounds’ or someone who is looking to enter a diabetic coma? I really need to know. And to make matters worse, I sought advice earlier from a total stranger with a catchy blog title. My world was turned inside-out in under three minutes flat. I couldn’t help but walk away with that Congratulations-on-losing-100-pounds-but-you’re-doing-it-all-wrong vibe.
Cue additional unnecessary stress.
Anyhow. Just thought I’d stop by and bash the keys before nursing my coma on the couch for the next decade. I’m not feeling great about my actions this evening or about my choices within the past two weeks. This entry serves as my ‘step back’ and my ‘deep breath’. I refuse to sit here and talk about ‘going off plan’ or name ‘five things I need to do better.’ I’ve made some poor choices, but they’re not going to kill me. Dishonesty? That just might.
Guess I should mention the fact that I cut my workout short this evening as well.
First. Time. Ever.
Cheerio!
(No pun intended.)
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13 Comments to “Stress and Adjustments”
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What the…?
This is my journey to lose 121 lbs one calorie, one blog post, one tweet, and one workout at a time! No foods are off limits, moderation is a must, and calorie intake/expenditure is key.
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» My Weight-Loss Game Plan
» Calculating Your BMR
Ms. PJ Geek says:
I've lost over 100lbs also and had a little chocolate binge party myself last weekend. deprivation? tired of the routine? food focused ? all of the above? maybe …none of the aobve..I dunno.. .I do know that we hear so much about what "other" people do and for some other people they get to eat more calories while others of us workout more and eat less and may or may not lose. I figure it will all work out in the wash if I'm really honest with myself and pay attention to what my body is telling me..I know for me, now that I'm smaller it seems to take more intense workouts and scrupulous calorie counting to lose. That take a lot of energy and focus from me. And darn it , I can't do that at full speed all the time. So , mine is the very slow journey to lose 150 ish pounds. good honest post from you .
martha says:
It’s ok to have a bad week and hell, HAVE a pity party if you want…Now get up and get going cause you are inspiring me and if you breakdown…welll I’m not going to break, but it may make me sumble a bit. I don’t even know you and I’m sooo proud of you. You can do this, hang in there!
Pink Panda says:
Not to sound like a douchebag, but is that it?
Girl, I've done way worse.
Carol says:
OK You totally CRACK me up. I have been following your blog for a long time and never write but I had to this time. I can SO relate to most of your posts but this one was HUGE for me. You have a way with words. I am also trying to lose the last 15 and it is coming off SO SLOW. It is very frustrating. Yes we all get spoiled at the beginning when it's coming off quickly. It seems the better I look the more I think I can be a slacker (like you adding the bacon to the wrap). NOPE it does NOT work that way. I do not want to gain back all 62 pounds quickly. Last night I had bunco and I proceeded to eat everything in sight and have 3 glasses of wine. Today I look like a balloon I am so bloated. YIKES I better get to the gym. Thanks for the great blog.
'Drea says:
I feel ya. I've been stuck in the same zone for three months now but, I must say, that my pants have considerable slack so I'm trying not to stress out and stress my body out which might halt the weight loss even further.
I was eating an apple the other day and it was so unappealing. I actually wanted something processed. I guess there'll be days like that…
KathyR says:
Oof. I can see why you might be considering that 10-year couch coma.
Resist!
I'm not gonna give you any more unwanted advice than that.
Ok, yes I am. There is no "wrong way" any more than there is one right way.
You'll come around. Good luck!
susan says:
while i'm not in your position, and therefore am not going to act like i know what you should do… i know i've mentioned this to you before, but i would recommend surfing over to the fitnessista (http://www.fitnessista.com) and maybe just asking her for a couple ways to change up your workout routine??
i really really love and trust her advice on the regular, and i know she talks about switching things up so your body doesn't go into cruise control. i don't think she'll say, "you're doing it all wrong"… i don't think that's her style. she def knows her shizzz but seems to present in a way that is honest but encouraging, and always helpful!
oh, and give yourself a break! =)
empowermephotoguy says:
You have done remarkably well…so something must be going on that is making you want to eat "8 mini Twix Bars in a row." You said you "devoured" them. Sounds like stress eating to me. So now that you've stepped back, and caught your breath, it's a brand new day. Get back on your bandwagon. The problem with asking people for their opinions, is you usually get tons of diverse ones, and you may not agree with any of them. You know what to do . You've done it. Follow your heart, and listen to your body. I think you're doing GREAT!!
Taylor Shantz says:
How could you be doing it all wrong? You've been doing great! Some people are just really intense.
I started my weightloss journey in the 190s. The more weight you lose the harder it is to lose more. I see a less than 1lb loss per week ever since I reached the 160s. You can't cut out more than 500 calories from your diet anymore or you'll starve.
Different things work for different people. I am 5'5", 150lbs and I workout 6days/week (P90x) and eat 1500-1800calories/day. It doesn't seem like we're doing anything terribly different.
Keep it up! Or take a mental break and just maintain for a while – you've obviously earned it.
Kimberly says:
Quit beating yourself up. You're still a rock star – hell, how many times do rock stars fall down?
You recognize your mistakes and you've admitted to them (twix… really?). Now go back to what you know is good for you.
And yeah, quit beating yourself up or I'll virtually kick your ass. Out of love.
Merry Mary says:
Eh. Doesn't sound like you've been doing anything wrong. The last of the weight is the hardest to get off. And stress eating happens. As does short workouts. I still think you are doing great.
Chrissy says:
Dear Rachel,
I know what tired feels like, I think we all do. I want you to take a deep breath, and any time you feel frustrated or tired of the scale, take a mental break and look back on everything you've managed to accomplish. 100+ pounds? holy hell. You've lost some 38% or so of youre original body weight. You've been in a bod pod, you know you're body's stats and that you are terminator in there. Take a deep breath and let it go. Patience is what you need right now, just breathe it all out. It does get slower as you get closer to your goal weight, but just remember its not impossible. Time is on your side. You are super healthy right now. You've said it yourself. You eat great food in the overall scheme of things and you work out like a banshee= good health. You are young, and beautiful, and smart. Point being: you have time on your side to work things out. You will get there. And just as a side note…I'm curious about your hunger levels. Are you forcing yourself to eat when you aren't actually physically hungry in order to meet calorie goals? Maybe its a good time to try and listen to what your body is telling you more, while monitoring it with the number goals, rather then the other way around?
<3
Tara says:
So check it out…
I'm a fat girl. I'm down 19 pounds (with 75+ to go). If anything motivates you, let it be those of us just starting out on this journey. WE NEED YOU! We need all the triumphs and all the heartbreaks. We need all the ups and downs so that we know we're not alone.